My father got engaged to a woman YOUNGER than me, and I feel so worried! | Reddit Stories | EP3096

0:00 Hey, this is Riley. And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

0:11 My father got engaged to a woman younger than me, and I feel so worried.

0:16 Keep up with those vows.

0:18 I found my biological father six years ago through a DNA test. But that's a long story for another day. Two years ago, I finally got the chance to meet him for the first time. We live in different countries, so I stayed with him for two weeks. We were so alike, it was almost creepy. We liked our food the same way, could practically read each other's minds, and our lives had all these weird similarities. We even had matching tattoos, the same breed and color of dogs, and the family resemblance was uncanny. He had recently gone through a divorce when I visited. I also have a younger brother who was 15 at the time. Fast forward to now.

0:57 My dad had been planning to come and visit me, but he kept putting it off for two years because he wanted to wait until my little brother was old enough to be independent. My brother is now 17 and in his last year of high school. Since I left, my dad has been living like a college bachelor. He's fallen head over heels for at least five different women.

1:16 The first one turned out to be a Russian spicy worker. who ended up locking herself inside a booze fridge at a liquor store during what seemed to be a psychotic episode.

1:26 Nice.

1:28 Sick.

1:29 Okay. He really chose someone. The police had to escort her out. She was only 30 years old. I was 33 at the time. Ooh.

1:39 He can't be stopped.

1:41 Find someone younger? It's crazy.

1:43 By the way, this comes from OwnTask7932, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStarTime subreddit. I am Sophia.

1:51 I'm Mike.

1:51 And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do, so if you do something different, prove it in the comments. And Opie says... The most recent girlfriend before this one, he got engaged to her after only a few weeks. What? How old was she? Then he ended things just as quickly after finding out she spent every afternoon at bars with her daughter's ex-husband. Her daughter's ex-husband?

2:20 What is going on here?

2:21 That's a... I need a board. I need a board. Well, I think she's not going to stick around.

2:28 Okay, good.

2:29 Who also happened to be a substance user. Now there's a new woman. She's 30 and I'm 34. Yikes. That's a big yikes. At first, I didn't think much of it because I assumed it was just another long distance relationship. Then I found out my dad was planning to rent out my little brother's room while he stayed with his mom for a month. And someone suggested this woman needed a place to stay. Within days, they were sleeping together.

2:55 Someone was like, hey, hey, I heard this girl, she needs a bed. And he's like, well, she can stay in my bed.

3:03 Is she younger than my daughter?

3:05 Is she 30?

3:06 Ooh.

3:07 I don't have a checklist. How old is she? A few days ago, he called me to tell me they're already talking about getting married and having babies. What?

3:17 What?

3:17 My dad is in his late 50s. I said that would make you almost 80 by the time your kid turns 18. He just laughed and kissed her. This guy.

3:30 Yeah, you don't like him?

3:31 Not really.

3:32 This guy sounds like my hero.

3:35 My hero. Nothing stops him. Age, just a number for him. Then he started talking about bringing her with him when he comes to visit me. That's when I got really upset. I told him, Dad, I really need you to think about what you're doing. He'd always talked about coming to visit me a few times before eventually moving here. It was already going to be difficult for him to get residency, but now he's talking about adding a new wife and a baby into the mix, which makes it even more complicated.

4:04 He already delayed visiting me for years because of my younger brother. And now I feel like he's starting an entirely new life. Kim Foy says, Opie, your dad's a creep. And also, pausing there, Opie didn't know her dad for a while. It seems like he came into her life later.

4:23 Getting reconnected with your dad and then just finding out he's the worst possible guy.

4:29 I'm like, aw, man. Did I really need a dad anyway?

4:32 Yeah. She might have been better off without her dad.

4:36 Yeah, if you just kind of like never meet your heroes.

4:38 Yeah.

4:40 I told him that if that's what he wants, I don't think I can keep investing emotionally because I need to protect myself from being hurt and let down again. I also told him that if he marries her, I'll never call her my stepmom. That would be insane to call a 30-year-old your mother.

4:55 Yeah.

4:57 A younger mom?

4:58 Yeah, your younger mom. This is my mom. She's four years younger. I'd probably joke that she's my little stepsister with a really weird relationship with our dad. Ew! Why would you make that joke? Please don't make that joke. So am I the a-hole. And we do have relevant comments. No, this is just weird, and I would distance myself from this parent. But what would you do?

5:17 I would try to reconnect with him, try to play catch, work on cars together.

5:24 Yeah, you're like, hello, Papa.

5:26 Hello, hello, Papa.

5:27 Please, please can we have a relationship, but just leave your wife at home.

5:30 Your child bride. I don't know. Yeah, this is gross. I just disconnect, I guess. Just like stop talking to him.

5:40 Comment one says, is your dad hoping you'll sponsor him and the fiance du jour for residency of the country you live in? OP says, no, he's funding himself, but I am his sponsor. He would come on a parenting visa. So if he marries her, technically she would be a stepmom relation. And more from OP, I actually did that.

5:59 We don't know yet what that was. I have four kids, I'm pregnant, and I have an amazing husband. We've been together for 14 years, and we've built a wonderful life together. Both my husband and I have a complicated relationship with our parents, so I know how lucky I am to have the family we've created. I'd be lost without them.

6:17 I think I'm just going to focus on everything good in my life and be grateful for what I have. And we do have an update 16 days later. Boy, oh boy. Yeah.

6:26 What are you thinking? What are you thinking, Sophia?

6:29 I think you could have kind of just a surface level relationship with your dad.

6:33 Yeah.

6:34 You know, like you don't have to call stepmom stepmom. You don't have to.

6:39 Yo, Sophia, I'm banging this broad right now.

6:41 Yeah, this is my 30-year-old brat. She's younger than you. You're fine with that? I feel like you could just be like, okay, dad, whatever. You're going to live your own life.

6:49 Fine.

6:51 You don't really want to listen to me or my fears about that. And just don't let it get under your skin. Just have a surface level relationship with them if that is what you want.

7:01 Yeah, I mean, I kind of agree.

7:03 I mean, like, I was like, because I can only, the only thing I'm thinking is like, I'm putting myself in like dad's shoes, you know, and I have to put myself in like Opie's. Don't talk to him. Just ignore him when he talks about his dating life, too.

7:19 Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

7:21 You don't need to know about who your dad's banging, right? Yeah. You really don't.

7:26 Or who he's trying to marry after two weeks. Yeah. Just be like, Dad, I want to talk about that.

7:30 Yeah.

7:30 Keep that to yourself. 16 days later. It's been about a week since I made my original post.

7:36 Nope.

7:36 16 days is way more than a week. That's two weeks. Past two weeks. What an idiot. You know what? That is true. He's still completely head over heels for her. That again? My dad is incredibly stubborn. So even if he started getting bored, I think he'd probably still try to make it work. I think what hurts the most is that this isn't really about his girlfriend. It's about everything that could come after. I've told him over and over that I really love my little brother to come visit too. My hope was that if dad ever decided to move here, and my little brother liked it, maybe one day he'd want to move too. Of course, his mom still lives in the States, so we may decide to stay there. And I'd completely understand that. I just

8:19 wanted us to have the chance to be closer as a family. I was more than happy to sponsor my dad while he visited, and my little brother too, but I'm not willing to sponsor someone he's known for maybe three weeks. Girlfriend, fiance, wife, whatever she is at this point. I didn't tell my dad what to do. I made it clear that it's his life and his decision. I just told him I don't know if I can keep getting my hopes up, only to be let down again.

8:44 Hopes up about what?

8:45 Yeah.

8:46 Like him moving there?

8:48 Maybe.

8:49 Him finding an age-appropriate bride? What are you getting your hopes up about?

8:54 Yeah, that's true. We need more information.

8:57 I also couldn't keep my mouth shut about how uncomfortable the age gap makes me. Maybe everything works out and they're happy together. I honestly hope so if this is the person he chooses, but I can't ignore that I feel like he's making some huge life decisions incredibly fast. And those decisions could end up changing whether he ever visits or whether we get the opportunity to spend more time together.

9:20 As a family.

9:21 And we have a second update two days later. Is it actually two days? It's a week later, actually. She don't know. Update two, two days later. Three weeks ago, my dad... Oh, come on! A different date! Three weeks ago, my dad started dating a woman who was younger than me. He was absolutely head over heels in love with her. Well, three weeks later, he called me while he was out having dinner by himself and said, I can't stand that woman.

9:51 I almost punted her out last night. We've got a little bit left. I would be like, Dad, please don't talk to me about this.

9:58 Yeah.

9:58 I know. No more.

10:00 No, I would just cut off ties, dude. I would just, you made it this far without, like, getting on to, like, stepping on any toes.

10:08 Like, I mean. Yeah. You can keep it going.

10:12 I would just say, yeah.

10:15 Good for you, right?

10:15 Yeah, okay, good for you, Dad. When are you coming to visit with my little brother? After reading all of it, I think the only reason why I wouldn't cut off ties is because she wants a relationship with her little brother. So, like, just surface level.

10:26 Okay.

10:27 He went on to tell me she's been drinking heavily and has become belligerent towards him. Sadly, it sounds like the relationship is already falling apart. Yeah, well, the relationship that lasted, what, three weeks? What? No.

10:40 Shocker.

10:40 But she's so young and pretty. I thought she could make it.

10:43 No, the booze hound. What?

10:45 The booze hound for a month.

10:47 No, that was the Russian spicy work. Yeah, don't get that mistake. Don't get it twisted.

10:53 I got it mixed up. I got it mixed with the other nine women that he's dating.

10:57 The second I hung up, my husband and I did a little happy dance and then gave each other a big hug. Not because we're happy he's hurting, but because we've been so worried this relationship was going to stop him from visiting us. I'm really hoping that once this is behind him, he'll finally focus on making the trip to meet his grandkids and the new little one on the way. Okay, I guess. I don't know. He's kind of strange. He's a strange man. But, you know, if this makes you happy, then yay.

11:24 Yeah, love is love, I guess.

11:27 Love is love. He's happy-ish. You're happy when he comes to visit. So I don't know. I don't know. This feels like Legally Blonde. As long as you don't try to take out his wife, then I think we're good. How is that Legally Blonde? Literally the whole plot. A daughter is upset that her father married a woman younger than her, so she unalives her. Okay, that was... That is not the whole plot. That's the whole plot. That is not the whole plot. That's the whole plot. There is no other plot. It's not even... That is just like the tip.

12:07 Yeah.

12:07 That is not the whole plot. There is not like 15 songs about being Lele Blonde.

12:12 That has nothing to do with it. There's not 15... Nope.

12:14 You didn't even mention who was blonde in that story.

12:17 The person who... No, she's... Oh, wait.

12:21 She's brunette.

12:22 I don't know. I don't think it really says. But we've got another story, folks.

12:29 My wife is jealous of my bond with our daughter, and it blew up our marriage.

12:34 I wish you loved me as much as our daughter.

12:36 Okay, so for background, my wife, Bridget, 37 female, and I, 34 male, were in a relationship for four years until we broke up. Well, during that time apart, she fell pregnant from another guy. Long story short, we got back together, and I've been raising Haley, 16 female, as my own ever since. My relationship with Haley started getting close when Bridget had to leave the country for a three-month business trip.

13:01 It wasn't supposed to be that long when Haley was five. Needless to say, this was a very rough time with a lot of mistakes, but we just figured things out together and got a chance to really bond. And ever since then, we've just been inseparable.

13:16 Daddy-daughter. I love that. I love father-daughter relationships that are very strong. I think it's very sweet because I have a very good relationship with my dad.

13:23 Shout out to my dad. One night while I was up working in my office, Haley, 11 at the time, came downstairs and just stood at the door crying yet smiling at the same time. When I asked what was going on, she blurted that she just had her first period.

13:37 At first I.

13:38 Froze, but being a proactive dad, we went out to go get her some pads and treats. Changed her sheets and we kind of just watched movies together for the rest.

13:47 Of the night. By the way, this comes from... Throw R a dad.

13:52 And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

13:56 I'm Mike.

13:57 I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.

13:59 And today we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't know all the answers. And if you guys have anything that you'd like to say, sound off in the comments.

14:07 Wait, that's not her dad? Did I miss that?

14:10 Yeah, yeah.

14:10 So you had the wife or like the mom got pregnant with another guy. Oh. And now OP is raising.

14:18 Oh, so that's her dad. He's raising this child?

14:21 Yeah, he's raising this child.

14:22 So this is her dad, okay.

14:23 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:24 Okay, so.

14:26 Well, not like, you know.

14:27 What I mean?

14:27 Yeah, yeah, that was an important distinction, but like.

14:30 Yeah, stepdad, yeah.

14:30 Still our dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:32 Okay.

14:33 So same page. I was like, oh, this is like an uncle. All right.

14:39 Okay, but as OP says, here's where I might have been wrong, but I do have an excuse. I'm a book editor by profession. So as soon as I wake up, I go straight to the office and start editing for hours before taking a break. Well, it got to about noon and my wife came in holding the pads in her hands. She first thought Haley got them on her own, but when I told her what happened, she completely lost her mind. The whole, why didn't you wake me up and you just robbed me from a milestone rant, which I understand since she would have had more experience, but Haley came to me and I just acted without much thought.

15:17 After a long period of the cold shoulder, she finally forgave me and we went on with life.

15:24 Well, I mean, she's the one who had an affair, baby. So, you know.

15:28 Yeah.

15:29 When we're forgiving sins.

15:30 It's a real fine line.

15:33 She's like, I guess I'll forgive you for giving my child a pad. He's like, yeah, well, you know, I forgave you for cheating on me.

15:40 Yeah. So Haley and I spend a lot of time hanging out. Well, now that she's a teenager, she's been asking me more questions about guys and what we like, etc. My wife was a bit jealous, but she understood my position. Then, a couple months back, she told me she wanted to go to her first party that weekend. Knowing better, I sent her to her mother, who agreed with a few rules.

16:04 The morning of the party, we were in the kitchen making smoothies, and I could see something was wrong. When I asked, she made me swear to never tell Bridget. I agreed, and she proceeded to tell me a secret. Well, apparently, Bridget caught on to it. She confronted Haley, and they got into an argument about it since she didn't approve of it.

16:25 Okay, I feel like probably some sort of spicy sleep or some sort of substance.

16:29 Yeah, that's either one of the two. So after their fight, she stormed into the bedroom and woke me up. I was pretending to be asleep to tell me what was going on. I guess she noticed I wasn't too shocked and called me out for knowing this whole time. She then broke into tears, saying that she's jealous of my relationship with Haley and it breaks her heart because she doesn't share that with her. At the end, she low-key suggested that I stop spending so much time with Haley.

16:57 When I explained that I wasn't comfortable with that, she blew up, saying that she doesn't even understand why I cared so much when I'm not her father. This obviously cut deep and I left the house.

17:09 That's so messed up. Like, again, if you raise this girl for like her whole life, right?

17:17 Yeah, essentially.

17:17 Her whole life. That is your dad. That's your dad.

17:20 That is your dad.

17:21 Yeah.

17:21 That is your dad. Also, Ronan really hates this guy. I don't know why. Like, I'm like, did I not hear a part of the story? I keep second guessing myself, but I've been here.

17:33 So now I get how she feels.

17:35 But on the other hand, Haley came to me as her father because she trusted me enough to talk to me. And at least this way we'll know she's safe. What should I do? Counseling is not possible right now. And the period thing honestly wasn't a secret. Just a matter of her finding out before I could tell her.

17:52 I guess like regardless of, you know, his relationship with his wife, it seems like he's built this beautiful relationship with His daughter?

17:59 Yeah.

18:00 And I feel like he just has to have a conversation with Bridget and be like, hey, it really hurt me when you said that because we worked through that thing that happened.

18:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

18:09 I stayed.

18:10 Yeah. And I, like, what did you want to happen?

18:13 But as a mom, the mom is just like, just being like.

18:16 She's like, well, I cheated on you, so you can't have a good relationship. He's like, I don't know what you want.

18:22 What do you want? Tell me. Yeah.

18:24 Yeah.

18:24 What would you have suggestions for OP for the dead?

18:28 Sit down conversation with Bridget.

18:30 Yeah.

18:30 And say like, I think there's, cause I think there's two issues here.

18:33 Yeah.

18:33 The first issue is clearly the jealousy, you know, she wants.

18:38 I think it's, I think it's, I think the jealousy stems from guilt.

18:41 Yes.

18:42 Yes.

18:42 She's guilty about the cheating.

18:43 Yeah.

18:44 Oh, Pete clearly has like moved past it.

18:47 Yeah, for sure.

18:48 To the point where, again, he sees this, like this is his child.

18:52 Mm hmm.

18:52 He's moved past it in an incredible way and built this incredible relationship. So she's jealous and guilty. And I think you have to sit her down and say, hey, you can have your own relationship. You would have that outside of my relationship. You just have to talk to her and spend time with her. And that's how I built that relationship. Putting the work. Putting the hours.

19:11 Everything costs work, dude. Everything costs work.

19:14 Oh, and they didn't even cheat.

19:15 Yeah, they were separated. Oh, yeah, they were separated.

19:18 Oh, okay.

19:20 So probably the guy that she had the kid with is probably a scumbag, dude.

19:25 Yeah, okay.

19:26 I was here for this story, guys.

19:29 Yeah, are you okay? Do you know what day it is? Ronan threw me.

19:30 So far off that I thought that I misheard it. I thought that there was cheating because Ronan, you were so hard on this.

19:38 You got gaslit, bro.

19:39 Oh my God, I'm being gassed and I'm like, what? What did I miss?

19:42 No, she was cheating.

19:43 How does it feel? Yeah. I need to ignore the comments because they're confusing me. Anyway.

19:50 Well, we got an update.

19:52 Yeah, I just talked to her.

19:53 So Bridget, Haley, and I sat down and started talking about what's been going on, how we each feel about how things are and how we want them to be with a therapist on a video call. A lot was said, some arguing in between, but after about four days, we each got it all out. Since then, Haley and Bridget's relationship has been looking better. Nice. Though Haley says that she's just doing it for me, I know she enjoys hanging out with her mother and getting her mom's perspective on things. Okay.

20:21 I think that was a great thing to do, like get into counseling.

20:24 Yeah.

20:25 But we need something, someone else, a mediator in.

20:27 This, clearly.

20:30 Yeah.

20:30 At some point, there just kind of just needs to be like, you got to be, you got to get like a professional to like handle stuff like this.

20:37 But I'm glad that you have such a nice, I'm glad that outside of all of this, you still have that great relationship with your kid.

20:43 Nice.

20:44 It seems like OP would not trade that.

20:45 I wish OP was my dad, dude. OP seems so great. Yeah, he's a really nice guy.

20:49 It really feels like OP does not care. He's like, this is my kid. I love her. I would not trade that. And I think that's pretty incredible. A WOP.

20:58 Yeah, WOP. So let's finish this story up. It is still early days, of course. And it might not last long, but I'm just glad they're both happy about this and equally trying as hard. Bridget has lightened up a bit with Haley on certain subjects and is becoming more of a support system for her. Our marriage still isn't necessarily returned back to normal, though. I'm still sleeping in the guest bedroom, but we are talking things through and attending couples therapy online. And I've joined a few groups on finding our way again. We're nowhere near divorce, so I guess things are still well. Nice.

21:34 Yeah.

21:35 Jen Thompson says, L for the mom, yeah. L for the mom. She seems to be on the right track back, though. You know?

21:42 Yeah.

21:43 Seems like she is working.

21:44 Yeah. Ronan's basically saying, you know what? The dad should cheat on the wife and have a kid.

21:52 I think Ronan's saying have another cheating. The wife should cheat again.

21:56 Oh, for two times?

21:59 I don't understand that take. But that's okay. We can have different opinions. And put your guys' opinions in the comments below. I personally love the bonding between dad and daughter. Stuff King says, I still think Opie did right by the kid. The kid was innocent. The wife deserves her kid to hate her. I mean, it seems like the kid doesn't hate her. It seems like they're just not as close. And that was it. Which happens. I feel like sometimes there's a parent. It fluctuates. There's a parent that you're close to. And then there's a parent that.

22:31 Were you really.

22:33 Close with your parents?

22:34 I am still very close.

22:35 Really?

22:35 Yeah. In some ways, I know people who are much closer, but I see them all the time. So I definitely say we were a close family.

22:46 Makes sense why you go into improv. I feel like improv is like.

22:49 You need your family's support. Well, my dad was an actor.

22:53 Oh, really?

22:54 Yeah, yeah.

22:54 He still works in the industry, but no longer as an actor. So he was always very supportive of.

22:59 Yeah, so he knows.

23:00 He's been in the business.

23:00 Creative feels.

23:01 Yeah.

23:02 Yeah.

23:02 I remember when I told my, when I told my family, I told my dad, I remember I was like, yeah, dad, I think I'm going to, I think I'm going to go like pursue standup. Yeah. I remember he just like laughed at me for like five minutes.

23:13 Well, your first job. You're like, oh my God, this is working already.

23:16 I remember telling my dad that I was going to go do theater.

23:20 And he said, that's a hobby.

23:21 I was like, yeah, that it doesn't even, it doesn't even register that it can be like, that it was like, that was.

23:26 The first time like we've ever like disagreed, I guess. And I was like, you've always been very supportive of me. And it was just really weird. And my mom was my, I would think my mom would be like now because she was calling all the shots.

23:39 But like, I was like, interesting.

23:41 Okay.

23:42 I don't know how I feel about this.

23:44 But I think it did, it did turn out good though.

23:46 Because like, because I think like the, the first time that you get like a, you get a disagreement, you learn how to like stand up for yourself and stand up for like stuff that you believe in. Yeah. I mean, I remember like, I remember like after, after like, My family was just like, what are you doing?

24:03 You know, I was like, no, I don't know.

24:05 Yeah, no.

24:05 I believe in myself.

24:07 We got another story.

24:08 Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here. And we're going to get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

24:16 My family let an in-law say mean things for years because of his identity.

24:20 This in-law saying out-of-pocket stuff.

24:23 My grandma's 70th birthday was celebrated a couple of days ago in her house. My elder cousin came with her husband of three years, and his attracted the same gender brother, male 32. I am female 17, and on the way to my grandma's home, there was a fair, and I bought some very pretty baby hair clips, and I intended to save it for my future babies, like it's that cute.

24:45 I showed my grandma these clips, and she loved them. And Chris, who was sitting on the other end of the room, suddenly made a joke about Is this a pregnancy announcement? Because my tummy does look a bit round. Loudly followed with a laugh, and I swear almost everyone in my family went pale. Shut up! That's so messed up!

25:05 To say to a 17-year-old? A 32-year-old man said that to a 17-year-old. The mood turned awkward so quick, and my grandma was looking at me for clarification or something. Like, what the F? I'm an introvert. I hate confrontations, unwanted attention... or people in my business. The problem I've always had with Chris is he's, in his own words, an extrovert, an honest queen, and a fashion police. Yeah, no, he can't just say, I'm an honest queen, so I can say whatever I want to you.

25:37 Say the worst things possible.

25:39 Yeah, yikes.

25:40 So you must be pregnant because you look fat. Yeah, it's like, okay, well, shouldn't have said that, Chris, to a 17-year-old. Big old red flag.

25:48 Yeah.

25:49 In the three years, he has said the meanest things about our clothes, weight, and whatnot, but everyone has let him get away with it because of his identity, as they don't want him to think he is being targeted because of it. By the way, this comes from Orchids in the Sky, and if you want to spit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

26:06 I'm Sophia.

26:07 I'm Mike.

26:07 And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And OP continues, anyway, I guess everything just came to me at once after the joke he made at my expense. I stood up from the couch and asked him, why did a grown man in his 30s think it would be funny to make a joke about a teenage girl like that? Oh, damn. Mic drop.

26:34 Mic drop.

26:36 Drop.

26:37 Mic drop.

26:39 Perfect.

26:39 Nice, OP. Yes, call him out. Because he should not be saying that.

26:43 No, that's insane, dude.

26:45 The lack of awareness, the lack of social awareness is like out of pocket.

26:49 Yeah.

26:49 This is somebody that like hasn't.

26:52 Been checked.

26:53 Yeah.

26:53 Has not been checked, bro.

26:55 Yeah.

26:55 Or like anytime someone does call him out, he's like, oh, well, is this because I'm like attracted to men?

27:00 Yeah.

27:00 No.

27:01 Like an immediate defense. Yeah. It's like, no, it's just because you're an a-hole.

27:05 Yeah.

27:05 Yeah.

27:06 Much like the things that you like to smash.

27:08 That's it.

27:08 You are an a-hole.

27:10 His smile drops.

27:11 You are what you eat.

27:13 That's funny.

27:14 Thank you.

27:15 His smile dropped so quick, and my cousin jumped into his defense with the exact words, oh, love, it's fine. You know he's attracted to the same gender. I'd be like, what? I was like, oh, I didn't realize that him loving men meant that he could be just a raging angel.

27:33 Just the worst person of all time.

27:34 What does that have to do with anything?

27:37 No, but I'm gay.

27:37 No, but you consider that. I lost it there, I guess. started yelling about things like, what is fine? Does his identity make him not a man? He's like all men out there for me. If your identity doesn't make you evil, then why the F would it make you a saint? He's still a man, still a man in his thirties who should have the same sense to know how to behave and what to say. And the way he talks, it's obvious that he's an effing misogynist. Like he thought child support should be illegal because according to him, his ex and he broke up because his ex had to pay an outrageous amount every month, leaving nothing for savings for a mistake he made as a teenager. The mistake is a child and wife he had as his cover. Damn,

28:17 OP said, I've been holding all of this up.

28:19 Yeah, sounded off. Sounded off on that.

28:22 He said, well, now I have everyone's attention. While we're on this subject, I was in tears by the end of the rant and I finished it with the fastest run ever to our car, followed by my parents. Regardless, my cousin is bombarding my phone with calls and texts talking about teenage rage, anti-queer, and an expected apology from me.

28:46 Why am I being accused being anti-queer now? Am I in the wrong here? And we do have some other comments from OP and an update, but what do you think? Is OP in the wrong here?

28:56 Absolutely not. No. Dude, this is, honestly, man, it's so funny because some of my friends who are can be the meanest guys of all time.

29:09 I do think that a lot of queer men, they forget that they can be misogynist, like misogynistic because they're like, well, I am part of a disenfranchised group. So like I can make fun of women. It's like, well, no, you're still a man though. You still can be rude.

29:28 No, this is insane. This person needs to be checked in. Get him in a room with me right now.

29:34 Get him in a room. Me and Sophia know someone like this. We do. We do.

29:40 The 32 guy or the guy that would check him?

29:43 Just a queer man who thinks that he can say anything that he wants to about women.

29:47 Get me in a room with you.

29:48 Get me in a room.

29:49 Get me in a room with him.

29:50 There is a surefire way for OP to combat this.

29:53 Yeah. How?

29:54 She comes out as queer. Whoa. Got him. He's got nothing on you. He's got nothing on you.

30:00 Genius.

30:00 He goes, oh, well, you're anti-queer. You go, no, how can I be? How can I be?

30:04 I am.

30:05 I'm one of them.

30:06 So now you're attacking your own people?

30:09 Yeah. Who are you? Who are you? Additional comments from OP. Thank you for all your time. I do get some may find it weird that I collect these things for my future kids going back to the clips, I guess. It's just what I find something cute and if it's something I have already outgrown like a baby toy or hair tie I like to save for the future where I can give it to my kids. My parents and all other family members were also very sweet about it so it became a habit and Chris knew this habit.

30:38 Him intentionally poking fun at it and twisting it and my grandma not defending me really made me go crazy I guess. I'll be honest I haven't replied to any texts. The adrenaline rush is gone. I am feeling mortified. The mere thought of the whole family focusing on me or my every action is just terrifying. Chris always came with my cousin because he and my cousin's husband are the only family they have in the city or like in the continent. I am from Europe and they are from America.

31:07 We have an update three days later. Let's get into it. So I never replied to my cousin's message and kind of hoped it would all just go away because I am mortified at the entire situation. and detest the attention because almost every family member is calling my parents every day. But yesterday evening, my cousin and her husband came for a surprise visit. They stayed for like three hours, and the summary is they're afraid that the family bonds may suffer Because of a misunderstanding and miscommunication. What was miscommunicated?

31:42 He's like, no, no, no, I communicated everything. I want to know what you thought I didn't mean.

31:47 Yeah, bro. What could you possibly mean by that? What are you not talking?

31:51 Yeah.

31:52 Do you want me to say it again?

31:54 Yeah, like everything I said I meant.

31:57 What's misinformed? What are you not getting here? We are the only family Chris and his brother have here because they're from America and we are in Europe. They came here seven years ago and they told us their birth families cut ties with Chris for being attracted to the same gender when he was 16. And my cousin's husband stood with him and they did the same to him.

32:17 So yeah, my cousin is asking all of us to prove that we are better than their family and to not do the same thing. When I told her it's not his identity but his personality, she told me that it is his identity, which makes it okay for him to have this personality. So be understanding. No. That's the most...

32:35 insane thing I've ever heard.

32:36 Yeah.

32:37 That's crazy.

32:39 So you can do whatever you want without consequence because.

32:43 Of your identity. Also just like so incredibly stereotypical and like awful to say that you are like one it is okay if you are attracted to men to be like this but also that just like that is the identity. That's what comes with it. Like it's like it's You're an immediate bully. Yeah, it's like, oh, that's kind of messed up.

33:07 You decided to make this your personality? Could have been anything you wanted.

33:12 And that he only made the joke because he thought I was a good sport. And my dad kind of made her stop the rant and told her how the three of them need to get their act together. And not take the family for granted because everyone has their breaking point. Suddenly, my cousin's husband yelled at my dad, asking, are we threatening to cut ties with them too, like their birth family? And yeah, by that time, my mom was like, leave now. Because she has three surgeries to do tomorrow and she needs to rest. My cousin was crying when she left. Family group is going crazy and yeah, the mess is just getting messier. Regardless, thank you guys for the comments and advice. My bully, my boyfriend. Is that Dear Evan Hansen? It does kind of look like,

33:57 I don't know.

33:57 It looks very AI.

33:59 I don't know.

34:01 The thing that I searched here was bullying but kissing J with a G.

34:07 Well, there we go. And that's what came up. Yeah, do you think that they're going to actually cut these people off or are they going to somehow work it out?

34:17 I mean, here's the thing, dude. The guy's been doing this for like 32 years. Yeah.

34:23 He has not changed.

34:24 He's not changed at all.

34:26 Yeah. I really, I think the way that you have to do it is you need to go to him and he's like, you're cutting me off because I'm, you know, my identity, my identity. And you go, look me in the eyes. I love you for your identity. I hate you. For your personality. You're a terrible person, not because of your identity.

34:49 Yeah. I've never seen so much hate with somebody that's supposed to love everything.

34:55 It means happy. What are you doing? That's the miscommunication here.

35:00 Yeah.

35:01 This guy's just sad all the time. Oh, man.

35:04 We got a second update. Let's see if anything changed. Eight months and 25 days later. Wow.

35:10 Wow.

35:11 That is a long time. My cousin is pregnant and her brother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal illness six months ago. So yeah, everything's back to square one. Wow. Nothing has changed and no one can speak about it considering they're both in a vulnerable position. I don't want to do anything. Also considering I am leaving for my university in a couple of weeks. It's out of Europe. So whatever is going to happen next. Good luck to my family, I guess. Yeah, I guess so. Wow. Nothing was solved.

35:39 Nothing was solved in this.

35:42 Wow.

35:42 That is fun, fun, fun. Fun, fun, fun.

35:46 Yikes. Dear Evan Hansen, my bully, my boyfriend.

35:52 Hey, can we read this?

35:54 I'll read this.

35:55 Dear Evan Hansen, you're my bully and my boyfriend.

36:00 You push me up against lockers when I want to push your lips.

36:07 Against mine. On mine. I mean, there's already a Dear Evan Hansen song that kind of ships into it. Yeah, it is.

36:14 Anyway.

36:14 But we got another story coming up.

36:16 Hey, this is Riley, the new Californian here.

36:18 We're going to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

36:23 I was accused of abandoning my siblings when it was my mother who made me leave.

36:29 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

36:30 Don't point the fingers over here. I, female 17, am the oldest of three living with my two siblings, female 14 and male 10, and our mother.

36:42 Our father left when my brother was born, and afterwards we moved states closer to family for help. Since then, I've been helping my mom with raising my siblings the best I can. We've had family come over to help when I was busy and my mom was at work, but for the most part, it was just the four of us. When we moved, I was placed back in school as soon as I could be. I've always been more quiet than most, and living in a new state only made social awkwardness worse. But eventually, I met another girl around my age, and we started to become good friends.

37:12 The girl Alana and I started doing a lot together. It only took a couple years, if not less, to be considered like family. A little over five months ago, Alana and I started dating. We took it very slow and kept it to ourselves.

37:27 Well, I hope you don't still see her as family.

37:29 That'd be weird.

37:31 Last month, when we hit five months, she convinced me to tell my mom. She was fine with the ex-boyfriends I've had, and based off prior comments, seemed to support the LGBTQ plus community. Last Sunday, I decided to tell her. By the way, this comes from M-I-V-A... 87th throwaway. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

37:56 I'm Mike.

37:57 I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.

37:59 And today we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't know all the answers. So we just know what we would do. And if you guys have anything that you'd like to put, sound off in the comments below. But anyways, as OP says, Alana spent the night because she wanted to be with me when I told my mom.

38:15 So in the morning, we both sat her down with us at the dining room table. When we told her, she freaked out. She said all sorts of angry things at us. My girlfriend and I tried to keep our cool, but before the conversation was over, I was in tears and she was clearly pissed. That was the only time I ever swore at my mother. I left the house for a few hours and I needed to relax and calm down before making any hasty decisions. When I returned later, I opened the door to see my suitcase packed and sitting next to the couch. I took the hint, grabbed it, and left again. I've been staying with Alana since, but it's difficult because our parents don't know about us either.

38:57 Her parents.

38:57 Yeah, and because her parents don't know about us either. I said that, didn't I?

39:01 I think you said R. My bad. His funky flow. His funky flow. It sounded like R.

39:08 Pow, pow, pow.

39:09 Ow, ow, ow, ow.

39:12 Her parents don't know about us either, and they just know my mom and I got into an argument. This week, my phone's been blowing up with family members criticizing me for leaving my siblings and mom like that.

39:23 How dare you?

39:24 Whoa.

39:25 I would respond to the mom and say, oh, wait, did she tell you that she punted me out?

39:30 Yeah.

39:30 How about you ask mom what happened?

39:34 I can only assume they've been giving one half of the story, but maybe I'm wrong. My mom hasn't called or messaged since. I feel sorry, but at the same time, I don't know if she understands how she hurt me.

39:47 So, read it. Am I the a-hole here?

39:50 I mean, like, in no world.

39:52 No.

39:52 You're, like, a 17-year-old young woman who just, like, is bi. and evicted you for that.

40:00 You're trying to figure out your place in the world, trying to date, you know? Here, your parents are messing up your funky flow, bro.

40:07 They're messing up.

40:08 Your funky flow. That's what I'm saying.

40:10 You know what I mean?

40:11 Back off my funky flow. Yeah, I would tell those other family members, because hopefully there would be another family member who would be like, I'm super supportive of you, and that's messed up that your mom is a bigot.

40:22 Yeah, well, we have an update here. So eight days later, Firstly, I called my father. Ooh, dad's back.

40:32 Daddy's home.

40:33 Daddy's home.

40:34 Let's see what he thinks.

40:36 Our relationship is strained.

40:39 Being separated and not seeing each other often, but he's made it to some of my bigger events since the divorce. Double digits, sweet 16, mostly birthday stuff, but sometimes other things. He never wanted us to move away, just felt he couldn't handle a third kid.

40:54 At the time.

40:55 I digress.

40:55 Yes.

40:56 I called him, and it went to voicemail. I found myself crying into the phone as I relived the past two weeks, but I made sure to word it as, Mom punted me out because I have a girlfriend. He called back a few hours later and said he'd see what he can do to help and will keep me updated and ask me to do the same. Secondly, on Tuesday, I talked to Alana about us telling her parents. Between people saying I should to get their support and those saying I shouldn't in fear of more backlash, it wasn't an easy choice. I was hoping worst case scenario, my dad would be able to help. That's what I'm hoping too.

41:35 And in the best case, we'd have three adults rooting for us. She was hesitant seeing how things went with my mom, but ultimately agreed. We sat her parents down similarly to my mom. When I say we, I really mean she did most of the talking. I was still worried things would go wrong. She started off by simply explaining why I've been here for over a week during class finals. We tried coming out to my mom, which created an argument and led to me getting kicked out.

42:00 Her father said he wished we had told him sooner, and I'm sorry for failing you two, for making this feel like an unsafe place to be who you are. W, Dad.

42:10 Aw. W, Dad.

42:11 Okay, I'm glad that you guys have good parents.

42:14 Yeah.

42:15 Yeah.

42:15 That's good.

42:17 Alana's stepmom and dad talked for a few minutes before coming back with new rules.

42:22 They wanted their couch back.

42:24 If that meant dusting off the air mattress from when we were kids or just getting some extra blankets, they didn't really care. We do us so long as it isn't illegal and we don't get into trouble. But that said, since I was now under their roof in a slightly less temporary way, I'd have to start following the same rules Alana did. Curfew, grades, things like that. all of which I agreed to. Her parents are going to take us back to my house today. I want to give my mom another chance. I mean, I don't get how you can just walk away from someone after your entire life.

42:56 I'm either going to get the documents I need or my mom back. In the latter case, I still don't know if I'm going to go back to sleeping there quite yet. I'm still hurt. After talking to my sister, she understands and would rather me stay away if needed. My brother's a little confused, but says he just wants us all to be happy. Thank you all again for your overwhelming support and advice.

43:19 Yeah.

43:20 I mean, I think sometimes parents like this just need time. And other times you could use physical force.

43:29 Other times just beat the ever-loving snot out of your kid. Yeah.

43:34 Sometimes people who just have a lot of prejudice in their minds and hearts, it's either time and they realize, oh, shoot, I love my child more than this prejudice. Yeah. Sometimes they just kind of hold on to that and you have to focus on the people in your life who do love you unconditionally. But you do have people who support you. W. Alana's parents is Katie Paladin. W.

43:55 Alana's parents. W.

43:56 Alana's parents. Do you think mom's going to take her back?

44:00 I hope so. I hope so. But I think, you know, you see it so many times of these like prejudiced parents.

44:05 Yeah.

44:06 Holding on to that hatred and stuff. So I don't know, but I really hope so.

44:10 Well, hopefully we'll find our answer. Yeah. With this second update.

44:14 Oh, there's more.

44:15 Yeah. Five months later. Oh, boy.

44:19 All the comments talking about legal action. Well, none of those really got much input from me. It just seemed like so much at the time. And I knew the best way I could help my siblings was to be their escape when they need me to.

44:32 But also not to do. Man, God, being the oldest is crazy.

44:35 Yeah.

44:36 That's insane.

44:36 When you're also trying to.

44:37 Dude, you're like a trailblazer. You have no idea.

44:40 What you're doing.

44:41 Yeah.

44:42 I mean, there is a chance that I think like I've also you also see this a lot where you have an older sibling who comes out as, you know, a certain identity. And then they get like a lot of backlash and stuff.

44:54 Yeah.

44:55 And then the parents get used to it. And then like four years later, younger sibling comes out and they're like, oh, well, now I understand.

45:00 Yeah. They don't have to worry about it.

45:02 More so like it's, you know. OP, it really sucks that you have to experience this, but also know that you are trailblazing for your younger siblings. Not that that should be your responsibility.

45:11 Yeah, trailblazing is punk rock.

45:13 Yes, it's very cool. Too update, too furious.

45:15 Too update, too furious. But also not to do anything to leave the residency as questionable as mine. Alana and I are still together and very happy.

45:26 Hey, congrats. Good for you.

45:27 Should be hitting 11 months at the end of this month. By far the longest and most authentic relationship either of us have been in. It's had some rough moments with family drama and all, but frankly, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. She even had me pitch in my thoughts when redecorating her room this summer, trying to make it feel more like our room, I guess. LOL.

45:48 Her family has been incredibly sweet as well.

45:50 I feel like I have.

45:51 Been such an inconvenience, but they hardly seem to notice, or at least try to not let me think I am.

45:57 W parents, man.

45:58 These parents are great. Imagine letting your 17-year-old daughter's partner just. Move in with you like that's like that's yeah you know very cool parent move.

46:09 Yeah that really is i remember that's like all i wanted to do like as a kid too it was just like i just want to be with like my friends you know like being like we could like hang out and live together yeah so an aunt or grandparent sibling here and there who don't agree with our lifestyle but they don't get humored much by the rest of them heaven knows our biggest fighter is right by my side half the time My dad's been trying to help the best he can. There's little he really can do after all, but he's trying. I don't know how much he's talking to my mother in all of this, if at all, but I still appreciate his efforts. Kind of wish it didn't take this to hear from him more, but it's nice to know he's still looking out for

46:46 me after all these years. My sister and I have been doing things more now that school started back up, and I try to help her with her homework or just hang out to help blow off some steam. She still wishes I was home for all of this, but knows she wouldn't be either if she were in my shoes. She's also been keeping me up to date with my brother.

47:04 He's starting to understand things more. But she also told me something I don't think I can forget. She told me about my mom. My mom's not taking things so well. According to my sister, she's a mess. Not as happy as she used to be is the easy way of putting it. Still taking care of my sister and brother, trying to not let it affect them, but noticeably not well. Apparently, my sister has caught her lingering by my door a couple of times, but she still hasn't messaged me since our falling out. Well, apparently, there's been a whole lot of miscommunication. My mother packed my suitcase after our fight, yes. However, she seems to recall hearing me say something about leaving before I stormed off. After she calmed down and processed

47:46 her emotions, she packed a case and wrote a note. The note was supposed to be on the coffee table next to my suitcase. I just must have missed it.

47:54 Okay, so mom is implying, no, wait, I didn't.

47:58 Punch you out.

47:59 Yeah, I don't really buy that.

48:01 I don't either because, like, why wouldn't you have texted, called anything and been like, hey, I didn't actually want you to leave. I thought you wanted to leave.

48:08 Yeah, you should have at least said something.

48:10 Yeah, like, I love you.

48:11 Also, it's been, like, five months, eight months.

48:14 Yeah, but maybe she's trying to reconcile.

48:16 Yeah, I guess. But, like, at that point, I think, like, the mom is just, like, being, like, Like, petty, I guess. Or not petty, but just, like, not willing to admit that, like.

48:27 She messed up.

48:28 Yeah. Yes. Yeah, exactly.

48:29 Yeah, she's like, oh, I don't want to be like, I was terrible and I punted my daughter out. So I'm just going to say, oh, you missed something.

48:35 Yeah.

48:36 You just didn't interpret what I was doing.

48:38 Well, so this is to wrap this up. My sister paraphrased the note, but she recalls it saying something along the lines of my mother apologizing for the argument. saying she hopes I can forgive her, but if not, she wanted to make it easier for me to not be stuck in such an awful home for any longer than I needed to. This had me confused, because if that were the case, why didn't she ever text or call me?

48:59 Not even a letter or email? Why did nobody else know of this note until my sister found it a couple of weeks ago? What about the initial family blowback? I'm honestly quite confused. It's been some time, though, so I might try and reestablish some contact with my mother again to get some answers for myself. I don't know what I'll do with them, if anything, and I might up you again.

49:20 I might not.

49:21 Only time will tell.

49:23 Only time will tell.

49:24 Well, I don't know.

49:29 Maybe time could heal this wound.

49:32 I think it could. I agree with Kim K. I think mom's being stubborn.

49:36 Yeah.

49:37 I think she just doesn't want to admit that she messed up.

49:39 Yeah.

49:40 But she did. Admit it.

49:42 Yes, she did. She did.

49:45 Can't take back words.

49:46 Cannot.

49:46 Cannot take back words.

49:48 But we've got some comments.

49:52 Ooh.

49:52 We got comments from the video, I dumped my boyfriend. Now I'm living with his brother. And this was posted June 17th, 2026. TLDR says, Opie's boyfriend blew up at her over nothing at her own birthday party. He called her mean names and told her to hide in a room all night. His brother stepped in and helped her get away safe. Now the boyfriend is saying she has to cut off his brother completely before he will even talk about what he did. OP is stuck trying to figure out what to do next. If you're curious to know the full story, go check out the full video where we got comments. Yeah, we do.

50:29 And the comments that I have here, the first comment is, Hockender in the movie says, I bet boyfriend was abusing the rest of the family too because they too quick to cut him off.

50:40 True. Yeah.

50:42 Next comment, Callie Tag says, The same manipulative skill that allow abusers to lure in and control people are also what keeps family members from truly seeing who they are. It's really difficult to believe the worst of close family members. And comment number three from SuggLV75 says, Says, I'm so happy she dumped him.

51:02 You are allowed to have fun. You're allowed to jump on the trampoline. You're allowed to have fun. Jump on the trampoline. This is so controlling.

51:10 Jump, jump, jump.

51:12 And then comment number four says.

51:16 Story one.

51:17 Doesn't matter if this was the first time. Physical altercation, violence caused by bad temper and drinks is never okay. If boyfriend really wanted to salvage the relationship, he would have needed lots of counseling and anger management courses for him. But he showed his true colors and hopefully doesn't bother Opie again.

51:34 Hopefully not.

51:35 Also hoping that she never gets another violent boyfriend after this experience.

51:39 Yeah, I don't remember this story, but it sounds pretty... Intense. Intense. So, good luck. But that's the end of those comments and the end of the episode. So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.

51:51 And we love you.

51:52 And see you tomorrow.