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With 8 years of sobriety around the corner, Lala and Easton talk chips, cakes, newcomers, and the community that changed their lives. Lisa contributes moral support... and a few disputed household accomplishments.
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Hello, gorgeous.
Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala. I have my pod with me, my little everythings.
I'm hitting things.
Mom. Yes. Can I just tell you?
So we had a party at the house on Saturday.
And you guys know I don't have a hostessing bone in my body. You can tell if you watch Vanderpump Rules.
But anytime I'm like, I'm going to have a get together at the house, I literally freeze up. So I was talking to Easton's friend, Justin, that I was going to have people over and I wanted it to look nice. And he said, I have this friend who's an incredible party planner.
Just call her. I call her. I give her no direction at.
All because I don't even know the direction we're going. Anyway, It comes together beautifully. The food was fantastic.
The florals were like the most beautiful florals on the planet.
Those flowers I've never seen prettier.
They were gorgeous.
And fresh.
Love a fresh flower.
Yes.
Would you get these in downtown LA? Like that's where everyone who has a restaurant goes. You have to be there bright and early to get the best. I learned that from Lisa Vanderpump.
But my mom pulls out her outfit, what she's going to wear, because apparently California chic and LA chic are.
A thing, you guys.
So when I asked the party planner, I'm like, what do I tell people the vibe is? And she said, California chic. And I was like, I don't know what that means.
So I just put.
Chic attire on it.
I feel like you needed the California.
I didn't know it was a thing.
Because California chic and then chic, two different things.
Well, everyone looked chic.
I Googled.
But then I get invited to two events after I had already sent out my invites.
And on the invitation, it says LA chic and California chic. I'm like, oh.
Did you Google what that meant?
When I looked it up, because the party planner said, like, it just means, like, no jeans or sweatpants. But, like, you, everyone has, like, their own vibe. Just, like, have them do their thing.
Well, the vibe that I am, I couldn't even do.
Well, you looked amazing. I loved your outfit.
Thank you.
Yes.
But when I Googled California chic, it was all jeans.
Really?
Yeah. And that's why I didn't put California chic on the invite.
Can I tell you something?
I went to a really fine restaurant and I was in jeans and I was looking at everybody else and they were like dressed up. And I told the guy at the door, I said, Oh, I'm underdressed. And he said, no, you're California chic.
Oh, see, so it's been a long, it's been something for.
A long time and I just didn't realize it.
Years? No, this was like a few weeks ago in the last month. Yeah. Um, So anyway, that was the attire. But I told people, I'm like, if you show up, like, I'm not going to have an aneurysm if a pair of jeans walks through the door. Like, you're fine.
Anyway, mom pulls out the cutest outfit that she got from TJ Maxx, because she's a little Maxinista.
Too bad you don't have a camera on her now. Damn it.
She puts it on, and I don't know, like, what about you has changed, but, like, your vibe was so cool, and you looked so beautiful, and... Everyone at the party was like, your mom. Because I've spoken about it, that we were a little nervous for a moment, and everybody was commenting how beautiful you looked, how cute you are.
They are nice.
Jared was asking about my makeup, if I had it professionally done.
I said, you did, and he was very impressed.
Really?
He told me, though, he did forget his glasses.
Oh, stop.
You're such a dick. No, how we've been doing your makeup has been so good.
No, you've nailed it.
It's simple.
So you did get it professionally done.
Yeah, right. I'm a one-trick pony. I don't get anything beyond what I've been doing for the past... 20 years.
I have no idea.
I will never get rid of a winged liner. People are like, winged line is out.
I'm like, winged liner is all I can do. So call me Adele because it's not going anywhere.
I love it.
All right.
I love it too.
But can I tell you, I love that party.
What did you love about it?
Just everybody mingling, the food, just the vibe.
Of it all. I'm a real big fan of.
It was, right?
What do they call it when they walk around?
Trey passing.
Big fan, big fan.
Yeah, I had... And I brought.
People onto like... Was to die for.
I am so glad.
Oh, the miso cod?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
Because I was ripping and raving and nobody was saying anything. Ripping and raving.
Isn't it ranting and raving?
Ranting.
Well, ranting and raving, ripping and roaring.
Fuck it.
The cod was talked about. And no one was giving me what I wanted because I wanted somebody to love it like I did.
And mom came in and did. So that is when I got it. It was the best part of the meal was the cod.
I liked the tuna tartare in a wonton taco.
Couldn't have it.
It had avocado.
It had avocado. You missed out.
The spring rolls had avocado.
Oh, the spring rolls.
Were so good. No, I heard all of it was fantastic.
It was so good. I paid you guys for an open bar. And everyone who arrived was shocked. They were like, Lala has a bar? Like they all brought their own booze.
Did they? Yeah.
A lot of people like brought their own like little bottle of wine or like.
Whatever they had in their back.
I just brought my flask.
Janet did offer to pay, but I was like, get the fuck out of here. Like you're not paying for the bar.
It's all good. They made mocktails. It was fantastic.
And they had your face.
Oh, they had rice cakes, right? Wasn't it rice cakes with your face imprinted on them?
No, not a rice. It was like a rice cake. Could you imagine that getting into your drink? Like, what is this rice cake?
I think it's gelatin.
Yeah.
Go ask Joe. They said rice something.
Oh, it could have been made of rice.
Rice paper, maybe.
Yes.
Oh, rice paper.
Okay.
A rice cake, I think of like Quaker that we put our.
Peanut butter on. Yeah, no, let's thin those out.
I'm like, that doesn't sound very nice.
Rice paper is better. But yes, rice was in that.
Yeah, the mocktails were great. They were gorgeous. Everyone looked fantastic.
Yeah.
I would like to do something again.
And your friend Justin said that we should put something on the basketball court and then have like the basketball hoop obviously partitioned off. But then you hang a chandelier and have like a fucking party back there.
Hype and drape is what he called it.
Hype and drape. I want to do all of that. I was like, now I just want to have like little events in my backyard. Then I'll never leave.
Right?
Yeah.
Like why go to dinner? I'll just host a dinner party at my house.
You should.
Sounds fabulous, right?
And use the same gal.
Use the whole thing.
And I didn't, I did appreciate people coming and not thinking there was going to be an open bar because obviously we're like a sober household.
Well, I think you, I think you, you did a good thing as far as you don't have a bar when you have birthday parties for the kids.
There's no need for a bar.
No.
Or alcohol.
No.
But this event, I think you did a good job.
You catered to the masses.
Yeah. I did, right?
Yes.
And they were thrilled.
Serving alcohol at kids' parties never makes sense to me. No. And I don't want, like, I don't need you guys leaving my house with your children after you've been, like, boozing it up at my crib.
No.
Just not happening.
My favorite drink was the watermelon drink.
Same.
I can't remember the name.
I couldn't remember any of the names.
She came up with all the names. The party planner.
Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah.
And alcohol around doesn't... Can you guys believe that I'm approaching next week?
Right? Isn't it eight?
Yes, that's crazy. Oh, thanks.
Very proud of you.
Thank you.
I don't know.
I definitely want to go and take a cake at that meeting. There's a newcomer's meeting coming up.
Are you going to, cause I only take, I only took, honestly, I took two. Are you going to take more than that?
No, I only take one cake.
That's how I feel.
So in sobriety, when you reach, there's chips that you get for like.
So let's walk through. I'm going to tell mine. So there's zero to 29 days.
Yes.
And you get chips for that. Yes. So you get a chip every day. I stood up, I walked in great.
I took a chip for 29 days because I needed to, even after I relapsed, I went in and I took 20, like 29 chips and then I gave them back, but I collected my 29 and then you get 30, 30 day, a 60 day, a 90.
Day or a night or 90 days. Yep.
90 day. And then it's, I think it's six months, nine months. And then a year.
Yeah.
Because they always go, anybody with a baby? For the nine months. Anybody with a baby?
And then. Yeah.
Yeah.
And then it's a year. And then it's really, really hard. Because then you don't get pats on the back. Then you just gotta.
Rip it through.
And then if you relapse, you kind of go in there with your tail between your legs and then they're kind of like, yeah, buddy, well, welcome back.
By the way, no one gets more love than a newcomer. The whole room roars. It's a fabulous thing to be a part of.
You feel very famous as a newcomer. I loved taking my 29 day chips. They were like, Anybody for the first, I'd get up and everybody.
Yeah. Keep coming back. Keep coming back. You're like, I want to live here.
It's amazing.
Yeah, you do feel great. You do. It's like. After the eight years, congratulations. Thank you. Because you only get patted on the back once a year now.
Well, it's good to be me because I'd be patting myself on the back on the rag until the night comes and then I destroy myself.
No, every time I get in bed, I am Scott Disick.
Yeah.
Just thinking about everything bad that's ever happened to me. Right.
But I feel like for this birthday.
So then like on your birthday, you go to a meeting and you take a cake and you can take as many as you want. But like, I just need the one. But I want to do the newcomer meeting. So the newcomer meeting basically is like anyone who is running the meeting or speaks is in their first year of sobriety. And then the first, I think, half hour of sharing, you have to be in your first year of sobriety. And then they open the floor to people who have a little bit more time. But there's something about that meeting that just like reignites your love for sobriety because these people are coming in and whether it's a mom who's 45 years old trying to get through a fucking Dodgers game sober and she's only been sober for,
you know, three months and it's like a lot. Or the kid who's 28 and just realized that he wants to live a different life. It's just a feeling that you cannot explain, right? So I would like to take a cake.
At that meeting.
Yes.
I know what meeting you're talking about. Yeah. And that meeting is my favorite. Every time I feel out of sorts, I just go to that one. Yeah.
And they've gotten multiple times at it, so you can't miss it.
No. I'm very excited. I can't believe I hit eight years. Yeah.
Because they say sobriety sometimes is like a relationship.
You get the seven-year itch.
I was like, oh, no.
I got to get out of this.
Oh, I know.
I got to get out of this relationship.
Not me. I'm here to stay.
It's a good one.
I'm proud of both of you.
Thanks, Mom. I'm very proud of you. My sponsor, a year and what? A month?
A year and two months.
Hmm. Coming up on two months? Yep. Good job.
Yeah.
We're all just crushing it, man.
We're all just out here just trying to live it. But my sponsor, he was like, you should go to all the meetings that you attend and take a cake at every one. That gave me anxiety, so I said I'm not doing it.
Yeah, just the one. It's great.
One was good. And after you take your cake, you have to talk for like two minutes. And that's where my anxiety hits.
You don't have to talk for two minutes. Well, they like, they allow you two minutes to.
Share, but they would like to hear your story because your story of how you got to where you are could help somebody in that room.
Totally.
My biggest thing of, about sobriety is at this point, it's, it's just like a, it just falls into my life. So effortlessly, you know, There are moments where I see someone order a drink.
And I was a big, I loved it.
I was a day drinker.
Like the night is to go.
Same.
I mean, I loved a glass of champagne and I loved a vodka soda. Like those things got me like really happy.
And I love Prosecco.
Yeah, you did.
You should get a dog named Prosecco.
She like, I have videos of us hammered me and my mom and she'd be like, I think I'm going to have another glass of Prosecco. And you know how your voice kind of changes when you get a little tipsy.
You and I had a heyday.
I remember we had that one when you put the funny faces on us.
Yeah.
On the Instagram or whatever.
Yeah.
Anyway.
Just hammered as fuck.
Yeah.
It was great.
I just get calls from you guys hammered, I remember. And that was, no words were even spoken.
Hello? Hello? What are you doing? Oh, fuck. But then I hear mom in the background. So what is he doing?
So we've always been codependent.
That's good to know. This is not new.
This is not new at all.
I think it really happened, though, after dad died, though. I think we were all independent. Independent. And then dad passed. And then we got very codependent.
Yes.
Can I be honest? I was thinking in the car driving here. Yeah. I was like, what?
If I do move out and then I don't see my sister every day. And then if I don't see my mom.
Oh, that's not happening. I almost spiraled. My eyes started watering.
So you know what? You just shouldn't even move out.
Can I tell you? Can I tell you?
I really don't want to do life. I don't know how to do life.
The solution to the problem is I just need to work harder. All of us.
So that we can have instead of the situation we have now. we can expand bigger.
Yeah.
And we can have your own house. Oh, each have our own house.
That's like a.
Normal person would be like, well, you guys should just like move away from each other. No, my plan is to work harder.
Okay.
I want righteous gemstone, not like get rid of all that, but the compound, the compound, right?
I want a golf cart over to my mother's house.
Totally.
That's sick.
That'd be fun.
That would be the funnest.
Right?
All right, let's get to work.
Let's get to work. I thought it would make me need to take a nap.
You are the golden ticket.
I'm retired.
Fuck off.
You live the dream.
I've been retired since 21. And I've never said I don't.
Like, she lives the dream. Can we just talk about it for a second? Can we just talk about it? I have no problem with this at all, by the way. But my mom comes out here.
You deserve it.
You deserve it. Don't get offended. But listen to the dream that my mother has been living for the longest.
She's got her feet up and a blanket over her legs while she records.
You know, like, Issa and I go out into the world, busting our asses, doing the damn thing, just like our mama raised us to do. And then my mom's like, yeah, I'll, you know, I'll take care of the kids. I got the house on lock. Then all of a sudden, my mom says, I think we should get a nanny.
What?
So now we bring the nanny on. So my mom was just chilling, right? Then it's doing housework.
Then it's like, I'm going to call someone to clean the house.
That house keeps me like busy because everything breaks.
That is true.
Oh, you're the house manager.
Yes.
Okay, so I'm going to bite my tongue then. Because all of the things that Lisa was designating to herself, we've now outsourced, brought others in to do.
But I'm the house manager now.
Do you do the laundry?
Sometimes.
How does the laundry get done?
What do you think, Cynthia? I do a lot of it, though.
Don't think she does i'm gonna show.
You guys i will yell down to my mom because i do i do do my own laundry and i will yell down to my mom and i'm like mom cynthia has folded your laundry take it to your room there's like a stack this high on the freaking.
Well she's waiting for cynthia to.
Take it down Cynthia is a godsend.
Godsend. Thank you, Cynthia.
She's like my whole heart and soul. I fucking love her.
No, she is the best.
The best.
But, in my defense, I have to run the household of all the broken things.
The front door.
I handle the front door.
Then why are we texting Serge?
I handle the front door with Serge. I've handled the light with Serge.
He and I.
It's completely untrue. I ordered them on Amazon.
We bought the wrong ones.
Okay, so you just make my life harder is what you're saying. You just make things more difficult.
All right, what I will say is she tagged along. The guy came over and goes, this is the lock you need. I said, where do I get this? And he goes, just go to Home Depot. I went to Home Depot. I said, I need this lock.
They go.
These are the two that'll fit. That was the handyman.
That I called.
Yeah, told us to buy.
So again, you make, you create chores for your own self.
And then I have to go on them.
Lisa loves to buy a bunch of shit and be like, I'm so busy today. I got to do a lot of take backs. I'm like, don't buy it in the first place. I just don't buy it in the first place.
By the way, though, you don't need to do anything. You are the heartbeat of the family. You're fun.
Thank you.
You're young, wild, and free. At heart.
At heart.
Your body is.
And we're just happy to have.
Tell my body to.
We're just happy to have you around, bitch.
Your body is catching up slowly.
Okay.
But it's there.
Just very, very quickly. The game last night was fantastic. I'm just going to say that.
Which one?
Can everyone stop asking me that? What do you think? Which game do you think I'm talking about?
I want you to say.
The Ravens game.
I know.
I was there.
I know, but I have said this to multiple people. Anyone who will listen, I'm like, that game last night.
They're like, which one? I'm like. What do you mean which one?
The only one that happened last night. There's only one game.
That was a spectacular game.
What happened?
It went from being the biggest snooze fest, me in full turmoil because I.
Get- And you dogging on all the players.
Okay, let's not say that aloud. All right?
No.
I love my team. I rock with them through thick and thin like I do the housewives.
Even on a not okay season. But you drag them here and there. You'll drag them here and there.
Well- There were just some things that I would have fixed because I think I should be the offensive coordinator.
That's okay. Can I be honest? There's times where I'm like, I would have done better.
I could have done better.
Give me 15 plays. I don't even need the whole playbook.
Just give me 15 plays, and I'll pick one that is better than what you fucking ran.
You know what? I play Madden. I get it. Manny knows.
Let's focus on the comeback.
And the win.
That game, no matter what team you're into, like Sunday night football, Monday night football, Thursday night football.
You got a good game.
You want a good game, right? That's all we ask for. Even if your team's not playing.
Couldn't have been better.
It was fantastic. First half. Little wonky.
We were really great at stopping them. Thank God defense did the fucking damn thing. But I was a little worried about Atlanta's that hot player. His last name's London. He was crushing it. I actually, yeah, I felt a little bad for him. All that hard work.
Well, I mean, I feel bad because Pennix went down. But we were playing with the second string quarterback. So fuck off.
Fair game now. Complete fair game.
It was so good. And you and all your Raven stuff, I think that's why they won.
I thought about putting my helmet on, but I didn't want to jinx the game.
You had your pants.
No, can I tell you who the good luck charm was, Mom?
What? You.
Well, thank you.
Because I was holding your hand. What the hell did she do?
Because I kept saying they're going to win.
Yeah, and I held her hand.
I moved positions on the couch because I was like, where I'm sitting is not working. So I moved closer to Mom, and I held her hand. And we just skyrocketed.
Oh, you're like that BYU commercial where the girl gets locked out of the house because they scored two touchdowns when she was on the patio.
Yeah.
They're like, stay out there.
Yeah. It's working.
Oh, it's just so fantastic.
Remember where you sat.
I'm sitting there and you can't move. Positions. Next game. I need to hold your hand.
You don't have to worry. She is not moving.
Okay.
But you've got to talk about the bread we had last night that made it so phenomenal.
Why don't you talk about the bread?
We had homemade sourdough bread. She is clapping her hands. She is so excited about this.
It has white chocolate, and one had Biscoff. Is that how you say it?
Yeah, Biscoff cookie, like what you get on Delta Airlines.
No, it was delectable.
No, her palate and my palate are not— All she.
Was saying during the greatest times of the game was— When do you think the bread's going to be done, Justin? He's like, I'm just waiting for it to rise. Issa and I are locked in. Mom and Justin, all they cared about was the freaking bread making.
So I love Justin to death. I know Justin. So I was a good person, though.
I let you guys watch some TV shows, and we watched Black Mirror and stuff, and I didn't watch football because I knew that you— Every time he comes over.
We promise him we're going to watch one thing, and we end up watching— Well, then you.
Should never come over on a Saturday, a Sunday, a Monday night, or a Thursday night.
The games that they... Basically the whole week. Yeah, Saturday and Sunday. I mean, good riddance.
Because it is from like 9 a.m. till 10.30 p.m.
Just having it on makes... Can I tell you what I think I love so much about it?
Is growing up.
When dad would wake up, that was how football season was spent. I don't even need to be sitting down watching college football. Having it on the TV, it makes me feel like I'm home.
Yes. That is the perfect.
Because I would get up late, like 10, 30, 11. And then I'd go out into the main room and football was on and it was just cheering. And I'd be making breakfast and it was just like the background noise. And then you'd hear a loud roar and it was home. And that's what I like.
And I would come down and dad would be making those Pillsbury orange cinnamon rolls.
Yeah.
And then he'd get out the cocktail glasses that were like hand painted and make me my first drink of the morning.
Oh, maybe he wasn't an alcoholic. No, it's fucking college football.
And tomorrow, we repeat. So fun.
And Monday night, we repeat.
Can you bring up the banana chairs? You know those ones on the ground?
I love those.
Turn the fire on. Oh, my God.
Lay on the heater.
You guys loved laying on the heater then. And when the heater would come on.
The blanket would plume. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
There was nothing like the household on 3648 Pear Blossom Circle.
Getting it tattooed on me.
Salt Lake City, Utah.
84109.
Fuck yeah.
It was the best. It was the best.
And then we would make another liquor store run, right? And you would be driving to the liquor store, which was near the entrance.
Not on a Sunday, though.
No.
No, you had to hit that bitch on Saturday night for the Sunday goods.
No, but Sunday.
Sunday or Saturday, you would make your way and you'd see all of these Ford F-150s with the fucking University of Utah flies getting on the freeway to head on to Parley's to get to the stadium.
Rice Eccles, baby. And they get hammered as fuck with their thing. It's so good.
I'm going to get maybe shit for this or maybe people agree. I'm all for a tailgate. Don't want to go to the game. I want to go somewhere comfy, watch it, eat. Piss not next to thousands of people. Wait for a toilet. Oh, it's the worst going to the game.
Oh, tailgating? Some of those RVs were so lit?
No, RVing or tailgating at the RV. Of course they did.
The best was when everybody would go to the game and then you were just there with like the big TV and then just like a couple people, you'd throw the ball around.
You'd start cooking again. Then the game's on. You'd hear the roar from just over the hill. Ah, the best. The best. Not being in it. Near it though.
Near it. Because then you knew once the game ended, everyone was coming back.
Well, that and I knew if the game was ending, I was like, all right, I'm out of here.
No, then I was headed to downtown Salt Lake to go to.
The Green Pig.
Oh, the Green Pig.
Love it all. Or Gracie's.
Oh, Gracie's. Is Gracie's still alive?
Aw.
Gracie's went out?
No, I said I wonder if they're still around.
I'm sure they are.
Will somebody let us know in the Salt Lake City area?
Speaking of fun times, let's jump into pop culture. Let's talk about this.
This was actually very sad and I'm happy the tiger's alive and well. Yeah.
Um, the guy in England who went into the tiger cage and the tiger mauled him to death. Apparently this place got an overwhelming amount of phone calls being like, we're so sorry for the family, but like You cannot euthanize this tiger.
And they're not going to.
Oh, good.
Yeah.
He was trying to discipline it. It was like it was a house dog.
It was like coming towards him, kind of like pointing. He's like, no. No.
It's like it's not a dog that's been trained since it was young.
They're wild animals.
They just be in nature, not in a cage. Well, I don't know if this one, it's not in this country. I don't know much about where this was. I don't know if it's like the San Diego Zoo, you know? A good one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that made me happy that the tiger is, like, fine. Yeah, but they gave them the day off, the workers, because everyone's obviously traumatized by it.
Did you see? I didn't see the whole video. I know you probably can find it somewhere.
I just saw them, like, taking out his body, and it is just, like, wrapped in a whole bunch of stuff because it was probably so ripped apart.
Well, yeah.
It's a wild animal, you know?
Yeah. Look at Siegfried and Roy. Same thing happened to him.
Yeah, these animals will fuck your shit up.
Yeah. When they get enough of you.
Yeah, I'm over it.
They will paw you.
Get out of my face. And get me out of this cage. Why am I even in here?
Could you imagine though?
You are the tiger and you're just looking at this species just staring at you all day and then you get a fucking lick it one come on now no they're looking at it yeah like piece of meat but that's what i'm saying like you're just like on display and you see all these.
People you don't know what they are but it's just this species.
And then one gets into your cage and you're like holy shit i got a chance at this fucking thing let's go like oh he's in the cage with me now it's time to play throwing shit and then the gates open it's like all right i'm gonna kill that fucking monkey throwing shit at me You know?
Where did he come from this morning? I don't know.
I like it. Alongside of the bed.
No, I woke up happy. I was like, today's going to be fucking great.
Actor Tobey Maguire officiates his ex-wife Jennifer Meyer's wedding, and this was just weeks after finalizing their divorce. How cool. Like, could you imagine?
What's weird? He's probably like, no more alimony.
No, Mom, that's when the alimony starts. The divorce is fine. Clearly, you've never been divorced.
She got remarried.
She got married to a Nigerian billionaire's son.
So she's not concerned about the alimony going away. Not in the least. She's like, I could literally wipe my ass with your alimony now.
Well, I'd rather her donate it, but... Or that.
Or that.
I got a kick out of this. Did you see the Kelly Clarkson drama with the magic shop? So apparently Kelly Clarkson walks into this magic shop and she inquires about this like bird that you push a button or something and it like moves around.
And the price tag is- An animatronic. An animatronic. Not quite sure what that is.
But the price tag is on the wall and it says it's $ 15, 000. So Kelly Clarkson- Post this, just drove all the way to Brooklyn to check out this store I thought looked really rad and had a few things in mind to buy and literally was looked at as if I couldn't afford and was told he could find something comparable for me. Wow, dude, you're an idiot and just lost a huge sale, but y'all should go check out Art of Plotting in brooklyn if you enjoy being treated like julia roberts character in pretty woman for sure check it out thumbs down i'm assuming they didn't know who she was obviously but she should never treat you shouldn't you shouldn't treat but that's what she's saying like basically if they can treat me like this I would
hate to see how they treat other people.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
God.
So it's Art of Play responded on Instagram on October 11th, 2026, stating Kelly Clarkson inquired about a unique singing and dancing bird automaton that was not for sale. So then Kelly posts it and it is for sale and it's $ 15, 000. She posted the thing and the price tag. So then she responds again.
Cool, cool.
Sure.
It wasn't for sale. That's the narrative. Art of Play is going to go with... Thumbs up.
So then, so the whole conversation we had when I asked you if it was for sale was pointing to the price tag hanging on the wall with the title singing bird didn't happen as you elevator eyed me saying in a condescending tone, yes, it's for sale, but it costs $ 15, 000. So if you'd like me to find something comparable for you, I can. That all never happened and now it's not for sale.
Okay, cool. So you're not only rude, you're also a liar.
Got it.
And by the way, I obviously support small businesses because I was literally at a small business trying to purchase things. I love small businesses and know they are important and I always support them, but you don't get a free pass to treat people less than in your store just because you are a small business. It's not that hard to be kind. I never blast people, but you, my friend, were an exception. Your store is really cool. Unfortunately, you aren't.
Yeah, not cool.
What a weird little back and forth. I wonder if people will go now, though.
Are you going to go?
It's in Brooklyn. I don't go to Brooklyn. I don't even leave my house.
If you were near Brooklyn, would you go?
What?
If you were near Brooklyn, would you go?
I got to be honest, if they're selling weird birds for 15 grand, it just isn't speaking to me.
Well, I'm being treated that way.
Take the being treated this way out of it. I'm not going into a store that's going to charge me $ 15, 000 for a talking bird.
Well, you don't know what the bird does. I mean, it could be really phenomenal.
Can I jump on its back and it fly me to Paris?
Maybe.
Probably not.
So, no.
But I wouldn't go because they're assholes. But I bet this is going to pop off now. Here's the thing, though. Kelly Clarkson, has anyone seen the Kelly Clarkson show?
Yeah.
She is a gem of a human.
Yes.
How could you be mean to her ever? She's so kind.
And how could you not know who she was?
Yeah, you're a dumbass. I know who she is from American Idol.
No.
For a moment.
The voice.
Not the voice.
That didn't even exist when she got famous.
Oh, she made her existence on American Idol.
No, she made her existence through her mother's vagina. And she's saying a moment like this.
But she got famous through American Idol. What'd you say? She goes, she made her existence.
I said, no, she made her existence through her mother's vagina.
She got famous on American Idol.
She got on the map.
She made it on the map.
With American Idol. Yes.
Yeah, she didn't have existence because of this.
And she was very young and then came out with Behind These Hazel Eyes and all the rest of the bangers that she writes.
No, how you could not know her is something else. Can I tell you?
And I'm sorry, she's got a very, like, noticeable face.
Yes, but all that aside, can I just tell you? It is so much harder to be a dick than it is to just be nice.
I feel bad being a dick.
Like, I've been a dick.
Don't you feel bad after?
I don't love it. I don't want to be a dick. But when I am a dick, I'm exhausted.
Say dick one more time.
Dick.
So then Hillary Duff's hubby enters the chat. Kelly Clarkson has a taser and she won't leave the Rainforest Cafe until they sell her an animatronic toucan.
The next one is so great.
Are they butting heads?
Here's the thing. We started off friends.
I sang it. Did anyone else?
Why is he going in on her?
Why not? I don't know. Why not?
We just talked about being kind and how hard it is to be a dick. And now he's entering the chat. It has nothing to do with him.
Were they in that squabble? The mom squabble?
No.
Kelly Clarkson has nothing to do with mom gate.
With mom friend gate. That's Ashley Tisdale.
Not Tisdale.
But Hilary Duff's not part of that.
No, but now with this, I'm thinking maybe it might be that she's the problem.
Everyone was thinking it was Tisdale. I don't know. With this, I'm sensing that you and your.
Husband get a little messy, right?
There's so many names going on that if you were to walk these people in, I don't even know who is who anymore.
What does Tisdale look like?
A woman.
I'm lost. Just a bunch of women.
She's cool. I like her. I like her husband, too.
Do you want to know something? I like them all.
Me, too. I have no reason not to.
All right, let's move on to Soulja Boy. That's way better.
You're going to die.
You're going to die.
I don't even know who that is.
Soulja Boy, tell them. And doesn't he sing Gucci Ben Dennett? Gucci Ben Dennett. Wow, what a boss. Gucci Ben Dennett.
And he's like, kiss me.
Through the phone. Kiss me through the phone. I'll see you later. But he is going to run for president in 2028. And at this point, let him. Put him in the White House for the love of God. Could you imagine how happy we'd all be?
Just dancing to Soulja Boy?
That sounds miserable.
I don't know. I think there's just a.
Lot of people.
It says Soulja Boy is setting his sights on the White House, revealing that he's exploring a run for U.S.
President.
I can't even keep a straight face. 2028.
The rapper says his priorities would include economic opportunity, criminal justice reform, education, and the future of technology and AI, according to a post on Instagram.
While he hasn't laid out a detailed campaign.
Platform, Soulja Boy says, He is looking to take his experience in music, business, and technology into public service.
Wow.
Just start a company.
You don't need to run the country.
You don't need to run the country.
Start a business.
Start a business.
No, but I reposted it. I'm like, where are we? Is this a joke? Could you imagine?
Our tattooed president.
He wears glasses that he painted his own self. That says Soulja Boy. You're telling me we're going to put him in the White House in glasses that he can't even technically see through.
You're worried about the glasses? He's got tattoos all over his face. I'd be like, we can't. Not that I'm against.
You see me.
I want one. The tattoos are nothing to me.
The tattoos on the face are a selling point for me, quite honestly.
I'm sorry. I'm all for tattoos.
When I look at my country and I have a vote, I kind of want somebody without them.
Just me. Let me tell you. And I'm for all four of the tattoos.
Give me a woman. Give me a woman. For the love of God. Compassionate, motherly, but will fuck your shit up.
Michelle Obama.
I'm obsessed with her.
Let's get her.
First we had Kanye West, now we got Soulja Boy. It's just like, what the f- Where am I? What planet am I living on?
We're in a simulation.
Easton truly believes we are like Sims, by the way. I'm just putting it out there. And I agree.
We're getting there.
I feel like there is a giant child who opens up the bag, which is daylight, takes us out in place, and then when nighttime comes, it means she's put us back in the bag and zipped up the bag.
Yeah, when you go to sleep, they're taking out the bag. We are what it was. Know how your phone at night, it goes through a little software update?
So do we.
That's what we're going through, too.
Bethany Frankel gave her followers a warning against trying to turn children against their ex-spouse. Do not try to turn your kids against your ex. No matter how abusive, controlling, problematic your ex is, you will end up turning your kids against you. It is hard to see when they're little, but the best thing for your children is to keep your thoughts, your anger, and your misery to yourself.
This is such a tough one. I agree, obviously.
I agree, too.
I don't.
Because the kids didn't pick this.
No, the kids didn't pick this. Um, with ocean, obviously like she picks up on energy, right? Cause we don't say anything negative about her dad because it's her dad. She loves him very much. And I want that for her. But she asked me, this was a while back. It was mom, do you hate my dad?
And that was like taking a bullet. I was like, Oh, this kid's like reading.
Like when she talks about, I'm obviously, I obviously have something on my face or my energy shifts because.
She feels it.
She's feeling it. So I really have to try a lot harder.
And now she's getting to the age where he and I are actually doing a great job of communicating about Ocean. And she now knows like he and I are on the same page. If you do something here and the next day is dad's time, like you're going to be paying for it at both households. Like this isn't just a one and done. If there's no iPad here, you're not iPadding at your dad's house.
But.
Has he taken the iPad?
From what I know.
Best thing we ever did.
You know. And when she comes home, I feel like she has been a different child since yanking the iPad. And I have no intention of bringing the iPad back. No.
Doesn't need it.
No.
There's no reason for her to have that. And on the flip.
You know, I think when you have a baby with someone and then you find out maybe they're not who you thought, there is that fear as a mom that your kid is going to go out and try to find someone like her dad, which you don't want that to happen.
But I've kind of. I've released control, which is really hard for me to do.
So I understand what Bethany's saying is like the only person that's going to hurt is my child, but also me.
And time is, time tells you everything you need to know.
And I don't want my kid to grow up and, you know, feel like her parents are against each other and all of this.
It's just more stress for her.
It's more stress for her. I don't want her to, I don't want her to live in that headspace.
No, you don't want her worrying.
No.
No.
And I, and I love to be a kid. Yeah.
And for her to see like at orientation, the two of us together and it.
Just, it made me happy.
It made her happy.
Yes.
All of my feelings aside, it does not matter. This is strictly about ocean and ocean only and what is best for her. So I, I co-sign on what Bethany's saying.
Me too.
It's a, it's a hard place to get to though. You know, mom.
So Selma Blair arrested a tax flight crew after trying to open plane door midair.
Wow. Yes.
So it says Selma Blair.
This is via TMZ, by the way. Selma Blair allegedly caused chaos aboard a Delta Airlines flight, punching one flight attendant and biting another after trying to open the plane's door in the middle of the flight. We're told the actors attempted to open the aircraft door while the plane was in the air.
On Sunday on its way. to jfk international airport leading to a confrontation with the crew members blair was arrested and taken to a hospital for evaluation where she remains as of this post the fbi is currently investigating the incident oh.
My god she was the one that was in um.
Legally blonde yes that's exactly right i do not picture that at all she always seems to like have it so together i feel All right.
Well, I'm wishing Selma Blair all the best.
Me and you both.
Usually on this podcast, I would do a segment called Bravo, Bravo, fucking Bravo. But that's going to be an entire bonus episode because I have Heather Gay and she's at the door.
So I'm going to wrap it up. I love you guys. Thank you for listening. And I will catch you next week.
Bye.
