Sex Unlocked: Men That Eat Their Own… WHAT?!

Let's talk about sex, baby. Hello, my little sex pots. Welcome back to Sex Unlocked. Today's an early one. How we doing, Sal?

We're good. You know, we've been sleeping a lot and I don't know what's going on with me.

Are you PMSing? No.

Oh. I just went to the doctor to get my Adderall. Like, I'm not kidding you. I just got back like five minutes ago. And my doctor was like, how are you? Like, are you balancing your life well? I just started crying. She was like, okay, I'm going to write you a prescription for Xanax. And then she prayed over me. I was like, okay.

Oh, welcome to the South, honey.

It was so sweet. She's like, can I pray for you? And she grabbed my hand and just like said like a 30 second prayer for me. And it was really sweet.

Oh, Sally, that is so sweet. Well, can you share like, what are you, what are you feeling overwhelmed about?

A lot. A lot? I think it has to do more with like, I mean, my schedule has just been crazy. The guys, ghost is overwhelming me. I'm overwhelmed by like, obviously, Craig went on Watch What Happens last night and it bothered me and Austin because he said that like me and Austin's relationship is unhealthy and that we're keeping each other from finding someone and like that we should just date or not date, which like I get that. But like what people don't see is like I have a lot of male friendships like I have with Austin. But me and Austin's are in the spotlight because we're both on reality TV.

Right. You know how I feel about Ghost. At the beginning, I was like all about it. But then that weird photo came through.

Oh, my God. We didn't even talk about that.

Did we ever?

Like he still is telling me it's not AI.

Why did the girl have like nine fingers on one hand?

She literally had nine fingers. She has like a perfect tits. She's like. Her hair was... She looked like a sim.

Yeah, well, she was a sim because AI created her.

It was AI. But I was like, your ex resembles me in white, blonde, big boobs. Yeah. And he's like, no, my ex doesn't resemble you at all. And I was like, so the picture was fake.

The photo was banging.

I think I caught him in live. But at the end of the day, I just... He's so sweet, but like, I don't know. I like, I'm just, I can't.

I think you're my third girlfriend this week who has had a lot on their mind and it has to do with a specific man. And I always feel dumb giving my advice because you tend to take advice from people where you look at your life and want what they have. Right. And like, I kind of steer clear of relationships and the ones that I have invited into my world have not been the healthiest. And they've sent me into tailspins after meeting, you know, one time for three days. So like, it's not lost on me that if you don't take this advice, I'm not offended. But I feel like this guy is emotionally draining you almost like a, like a leech, like a parasite where you, when they start affecting your piece, you have to be

done with it. And he has, there's been a lot of things that have, you know, made you feel off. You've wanted to paint red flags green. And like you had this incredible promotion and you're not even able to enjoy it because of a guy.

I know.

And you should enjoy that. That's a fucking huge win.

I mean, I agree. And like when I found out he was here, I looked at my roommate. I was like, ghost is an hour outside of Charleston. And she was like, what the fuck? Like we but I'm like, I don't know if like you don't understand because he's I mean, he's not like Southern, but that's not normal in the South.

You have to be invited over to come over. Let me tell you something behind my gate. This is fucking Texas, brother. Unless you're invited. You don't show up. You're going to have a real problem. That's what I, and he understood it. Like, he's so nice that it like throws me off. Cause I'm like, I yelled at him and he was like, I get it. I get it. It'll never happen again.

I was like, damn right it won't.

But also like the red flags are like pretty fucking red, Sally.

No, I know. And I told him like, he was like, can we just say goodbye? Cause I feel like this is the last time I'm going to see you. You're like, he knows.

You're, you're done.

Yeah. I have to be.

How old are you again? 33?

31. 31.

You're like, sorry, you age very slowly.

He's four. 40. My brain's not working.

Neither is mine. You're in good company. 31. So with what Craig said on Watch What Happens, The universe just works, okay? Like, I don't know how it works, but it just does, especially for people who trust in it. Your relationship or friendship with Austin is not going to prevent you from finding your person. It's just not. You guys are in each other's lives right now because it's supposed to be that way. For whatever reason, you guys are helping each other through this path that you're on. And I don't think it is a smart decision or one that even makes sense to be like, I'm not going to enjoy this friendship that I have the time of my life in because you could possibly hinder me finding someone. Like what?

What is that?

I'm not going to enjoy. I'm not, I'm going to stop enjoying someone because I may find my, like they did. It just, the logic doesn't make sense. Whoever comes into your life is going to fit in perfectly. Just like the puzzle piece that was like, meant for your story right and austin and your friendship with him is not going to be the determining factor no if that happens or not.

And like if i find my person i will create boundaries and respectful stuff with austin.

That's what i mean though like it just will happen you you're not gonna have to plan it out that's not how life works like we don't start we don't start getting people out of our lives that we enjoy, that Austin fills your cup, right?

He does. Yes.

So why would you stop hanging out with him for literally no fucking reason?

No reason.

No reason at all.

I'm like scared that Austin's going to back away because the internet's telling us to.

Because he's... Well, then if that's the case, he's a dumbass.

Yeah.

And by the way, he's been doing this a long time. I think the internet has... had an opinion for a very long time and it doesn't seem like he's listened thus far. So I don't know why you would start listening now.

He usually doesn't read stuff, but I guess people sent him the clip of like what Craig said and it's like really bothering him. Like really bothering him. And I'm just like, okay, well, I don't know what to tell you. He, he commented on it and said, Craig's been out of the castle for one day and he's already annoying me.

What castle?

Traders. Oh, okay.

Oh that's right he's on this next season yeah let Craig be Craig.

Craig will always be Craig Craig.

Just Craig's around town yeah that's how I feel about it do you feel better today than you did yesterday.

What do you mean.

Yesterday bitch we couldn't get a text back from you oh yeah I was like struggling I had four anxiety attacks yesterday. That's because of ghost. You gotta be done.

Gotta, gotta be.

Gotta be done.

But yeah, I'm doing better than yesterday.

You look great for being sad. I don't look like that when I'm sad.

I've been crying for so much. I just got my hair done yesterday too.

It looks fabulous. The color is so good.

Thank you. Yeah.

So that's a win. We look good and we got a promotion at work. You're thriving.

That's right. Wait, you never told me how your weekend was with Squatty Potty. Squatty.

Squatty Potty is just so good. He's just too good.

The chocolates worked.

The chocolates worked. Squatty Potty is great. Um... No, I'm in, I'm in a good headspace. Can I tell you the only time, and I, I spoke about this on an unlikely affair and untraditionally Lala, but when I am approaching my period the week before, so it's, I have two good weeks a month, Sally, let me tell you when I PMS, it is so awful that like, I literally talk myself in to selling everything, getting rid of Instagram and, moving to a farm and like, I never want to be seen again. And when I say that, I, I'm not just saying like, Oh, it's a rough patch where I'm like, this is what I, I literally am just shy of driving myself off of a cliff because I am in pure self-loathing. It is fucking rough. I got

to get on.

I either before your period and while I'm on it and while you're on it. Yes.

So it's like basically just shy of two weeks. It is brutal. I need to either meet with a psychologist or go to some holistic person to check my hormones because it's fucking brutal. I mean, I can barely function.

Are you like depressed?

Yes.

And I hate myself. That's hard, especially when you have kids. Yeah. Like I can't, I can't, I mean, my PMS thing is not that bad. I just eat everything, but that's terrible. Yeah. You need to, can you not take medicine for that?

Well, it's to the point I've been, I texted my sponsor and I was like, Hey, we have like a situation happening and I need to go through some step work because I'm just feeling very off. And even though I don't, I don't feel like I want to pick up a drink like that. at this point doesn't ever seem like the solution for me, but sobriety, just like the steps and the big book in general, it's just teaching you how to like take accountability and be a better person. Now for an alcoholic or an addict, our sobriety depends on those things. Right. But if you take the sobriety out of it, like any normal person who would, could any, any normal person could benefit off of this program.

Right.

It truly is just about taking accountability and, keeping your side of the street clean, letting go of resentment so that you don't feel like you're pointing the finger at everyone else. Um, so I told her we need, we need to deep dive into some, some step work because that's fucking with me, but I gotta be put on something.

I can't have to like, and the moment it's over, I'm like, I love everything I do. What I say is important. I feel inspired when I'm PMSing.

Can you, it's awful. You have an IUD, right?

Yeah, but it doesn't have hormones in it.

Can you like, I guess you wouldn't want to change that to like birth control pills.

And I'll forget.

Then you could just like not have your period in general.

Then I'm, then I'll probably get pregnant because I always, when I was on birth control pills back in the day, I did forget and I did get pregnant. Yeah.

I would forget all the time. I'm on nothing, which is terrifying. I know.

Oh my God. You're sending me into a fucking tailspin. We got to get you back into the OBGYN.

I am like the kind of girl that is like leg locking you in. You're not pulling out.

That's me.

I love it when they.

Oh yeah. When two become one, baby, that's totally me too. I'm a fucking little weirdo. Everything goes out the window when I'm turned on.

Oh yeah.

Condom breaks. I don't care.

Put it in. I don't care. Yeah. That's literally me. And then it's, And then right after I'm like, I'm going to get pregnant. Fuck. But honestly, I want a baby.

Oh, so then fuck it.

Back to the ugly guys.

I can't have their baby. Actually, they make cute babies.

They do. They do. I will say.

Like when you see two really, really hot people, usually their baby looks a little funky.

Yeah. And then like ugly. Ugly in a hottie. Cute baby. Cute baby. Balance.

We got to have balance.

Well, then I guess I'm in luck because I would have a cute baby.

You're totally fine. I'm not even worried about your babies. They're going to be hitting right. One of our listeners said to you, do not feel bad about shitting yourself on a plane. I don't think you do. Because I got very drunk and fucked a dude who I had met literally 30 minutes prior to and shit myself in the middle of it. But it gets worse. When I woke up the next morning, I had pissed his bed.

Needless to say, I got ghosted.

She got ghosted? As she should have!

She shit during sex and then peed his bed!

That is crazy. That is like... That's insane work.

Honestly.

I would be making up something.

I can't believe that they had sex, she shit herself, and then he allowed her to stay in the bed.

Stay in the bed, yeah. I'd be like, you gotta go.

I also gotta put the house up for sale. Or burn it to the ground.

I guess it, like, happens.

Right? The vagina and the butt, they're so close together. They're so close. When you're relaxed, like, I'm telling you, that has never happened to me, thank God.

Me either.

But the last time I'm telling you, that was the first time I've been like, oh, oh, something ain't right.

Yeah. Like I felt I have felt in certain positions like you've got to stop. I'm I'm going to shit.

Do you tell them that?

No, I'm just like, stop, let's change it up. But like there's sometimes where there's it feels like I have before. And then I like I have to be like, oh, my God. And then I'll check. I'm like, oh, I'm good.

I'm good. Thank God.

Thank God.

Um, I have never been so happy to see just like a little bit of blood on the ground and not.

Oh yeah. Not, not shit. Literally. And like the whole peeing thing, I feel like it's so normal for guys and not girls. So like when I pee the bed, I mean the amount of my roommate had her little thing sleep over the other night and she woke up, he was pissing all over her curtains.

And he stood up and did that yes and i've had guys be in my be in my freaking cabinet thinking it was a toilet who are you guys.

Messing with i have never had that happen to me ever really yeah like.

A guy like go walk to the corner and like try to pee in the corner of your room because he thinks it's a bathroom no that has happened to me more than five times.

More than someone in the group chat on our production side has. Who are these men? The ones with the four inch wieners.

Yeah, yeah, that'll do it. It's the ones that are drinking way too much.

And I have never been with a dude who is so fucked up that he can't tell a curtain from a toilet.

Well, okay, it's technically when they're fucked up and they go to sleep for like an hour and then they wake up and they're still fucked up, but they're also still sleeping a little bit. It's like a sleepwalk.

Never happened to me.

Never.

Let me tell you something. I wake up to you peeing anywhere that isn't the toilet. We have a real problem on our hands.

Okay.

Like my, that would make, especially in this house, my sanctuary, my gorgeous, my gorgeous blackouts.

Yeah.

No, Riley was literally like, can I sleep in your bed tonight? I don't have curtains. Cause she had to wash them. Crazy.

Poor girl.

I know. But I just start like the only times it's happened to me. I just can't even, I can't even stop them. Cause I'm laughing so hard. Like it makes me laugh really hard when they can't tell where the bathroom is.

Sally, we got to get you out of there, babe.

I know, I know. My house is going to start smelling like piss.

We have a male listener voicemail. I've dated and been married to my wife now for a combined 13 years. Oh no, is he going to clown on her sexually? She is amazing sexually, but has never once tried to spit or swallow.

What do you mean? What has she tried to do?

She probably doesn't blow him to completion. Obviously not a huge deal. And I don't expect that to happen every time. But in some cases, it's nice to keep it less messy, public slash car blow job, et cetera. Not to mention the orgasm from not having to pull out is another level. Any tips or just leave it alone? I'm confused by this.

She's amazing sexually, but has never once tried to spit or swallow.

She like, she blows him until he's about to come. And then she like, Finishes him.

Finishes with her hand. Goes in the car, wherever they are. Or puts it in her vagina.

Well, I guess not if she, he's getting a car blowy.

He says it's less messy if it's in public or like a car blow job.

Yeah.

Like swallowing or spitting is less messy. Right. Right. He wants her to do that in public places. I guess. I mean, if y'all are doing it in the car, it sounds like y'all have a great marriage after 13 years. Hell yeah. Blow is in the car still. Yeah. Right.

She sounds like a bag of fun.

Yeah, she does.

I mean, I think after 13 years, like if this is something that he's writing into us, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a conversation with her being like, Hey, Would you... I'm just still so confused. Like, where is the cum going? If she's giving you a blowjob, it doesn't spit or swallow.

It's probably going all over his dick and her hand and his pants. Or maybe they have a towel? I don't know.

Yeah, obviously it's not a huge deal, but it's less messy. Okay, I got it now.

Yeah.

She likes a mess. She likes the cum everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. I would hate that. I would way rather swallow your cum than have a mess in my car. Oh, same. Yeah.

And I don't even, I don't, I don't really, I have, I don't have a gag reflex anymore. I used to be able to like really deep throat that shit, swallow, chase. it with some fucking Jack Daniels, like whatever. We were all good. But maybe just ask her, be like, Hey babe, is there a reason why you don't let me come in your mouth?

Yeah.

And she could be like, I don't like the taste of your cum. You need to eat more pineapple.

Exactly. You know, it is weird. Can we talk about that?

Always. What do you want to talk about?

How guys come taste different. Like different guys.

It's because of what they eat, Sally.

I'm like thinking about it. There's like some bad ones out there.

Yeah, but it's because they're not getting enough fruit.

Well, I'm going to be making money on smoothies.

Smoothies. A lot of pineapple in there. A lot of pineapple. That's the whole reason why I don't really love if you come in my mouth because I can't, I don't know what that is going to taste like. And I'm, I will throw up.

No, same.

And at that point, I won't.

Throw up and I'll like gag a little and I'll be like, I need a chaser beside my bed if we're doing that. Oh my God.

Just the thought of it is making me nauseous.

I know. Oh my God. But then there's some, it's like, Hmm. Hmm.

Didn't mind that one bit.

That wasn't that bad.

Not at all. You make a sauce with that little aioli. So nice.

That's a healthy man.

That's a healthy man. It's all about their diet. You know, athletes have the ones I've been with have a nice tasting because they got to eat right.

Oh yeah. That is all of mine are like staying out till 6 a.m. Eating fucking Taco Bell. McDonald's.

Okay. The more you talk about it, the more I go, keep me out of Charleston.

Okay? It's not all of them.

I don't want no parts of four-inch dick with stanky cum.

These guys are going to know exactly who they are when I say, like, you're eating Taco Bell up until 6 a.m.

It's very specific.

Yeah.

To, like... A whole group here in Charleston, honestly.

Because there's a reason why she doesn't want to and he could learn a lot and it may have to do with him.

But I guess if she never has done it, she wouldn't know what it tastes like. So maybe just give it a try.

Maybe just give.

It a try. Do a little taste test.

Totally.

Like have him come on your stomach or whatever and then do a little.

Totally. Or he should taste his own cum to be like, babe, it's all good.

Or make him taste his own cum. Yeah. That's a better idea.

That's a better idea. You want it in my mouth. I got to know you'll.

You'll eat it yourself.

Yes. Because when I have said to my friends, you need to taste yourself if you're going to hook up tonight and he's going to eat you out. And they're like, I would never. I'm like, so you won't taste your own self, but you'll make this guy taste it.

Exactly. And they I mean, and they they're doing it to us. They're putting their dicks in our vaginas and they're putting their dicks back in our mouth.

Yeah like that's the other thing if he's gonna put it in my vagina and then put it back in my mouth.

You better eat my cookie i you well.

You must eat the cookie but also i'm gonna be tasting myself anyway so i gotta know that everything that's being served that night is grade a.

Do you think it's attractive when guys i don't know how many guys do this but like if they do eat their own cum.

Do i think it's hot if they eat their own cum Yeah. I'd prefer they not. Yeah.

Okay. There is this guy in college. I remember so vividly. He was dating one of my friends, one of my roommates, and he would send her videos of him coming onto his chest, like onto his stomach. Yeah. And then like. scooping it up and eating it. And I was gagging watching the video.

I would gag.

Gagging.

I would gag.

I was like, there's no way.

Do that on your own time, not in front of me. Disgusting.

Like that is so much different than like a girl fingering herself and then licking her fingers like that to me.

100%.

Disgusting. I've repulsed.

Oh my gosh.

It's been 10 years and I will never get that video out of my head. Ew.

And it's like slimy and weird.

No, it was not. I can't even think. Are you guys?

I'm trying to get the image out.

Guys, don't eat your own gum, please. We ate it.

I'm going to be okay.

Okay.

During sex, what's happening in your head? Have you ever been distracted by something in your partner's bedroom? A photo, dirty sheets, or a pet staring at you?

A pet. My pets leave the room.

When I had Lily, R.I.P., She, she like was like, what's happening? She was like, Jesus is dog, right? Like so innocent and sweet. Like she wasn't leaving the room. She wasn't just sitting there staring. She was like, oh, mom's having fun. I want to get in on this. You know, thinking that we're like playing.

Oh my God. That's that would be my dogs. They're all up in my junk when I'm like making out on the couch.

Have you ever caught a reflection of your own self during sex? And been like, damn, I look hot or like I need to reposition?

When I was tied up in the frog position, I was like, there's no way I look good. Get me out of this fucking frogger position. I couldn't get out of that position faster.

No one looks good in a froggy position.

No, everything's exposed. No.

And like when you have to bend over naked, like I turn into straight Gollum, dude. It's like not hot.

It's not good.

Because I have a really low butt crack. And I think the low butt crack makes it elongates the whole back. You know?

Wait, really?

I have the shortest butt crack. It's crazy.

Now I want to see it.

I'll show you.

Oh my God. It is low. It's tiny. You got a good butt though.

No, the butt is, the butt is cute. The butt is butting, but like.

The butt cracks low.

The higher the butt crack, that's where the muscle sits, right? So mine just makes the back look a little bit longer. And I'm telling you, I look like.

She's got a long back.

I have a long back. My friend told me she was like, the other day, my man and I. like fucking the shit out of each other. And I forgot that I took the ring camera out of my baby's room and put it in my room. So the whole act was recorded. And she goes, I watched it, Lala. And I am scarred. Like I can never have sex again.

She was like, I looked like a chimpanzee with triangle tits. And I feel like, and she was like, and he looked so hot. And I was like, now I'm insecure because like, how is this hot man? Choosing to fuck me. Yeah, but he's not getting that view. She was like, you're not watching it. I'm deleting it. I'm deleting it. Not a hot sex tape.

I would have deleted it too. I can't imagine what I look like having sex sometimes.

Honestly, I know what I look like having sex because I've recorded it before. And sometimes when I masturbate, I think of my own self. Is that bad?

No. Is that bad? No, you're a hot bitch. Yeah.

Especially right now.

That's not bad at all. I think it's great. Healthy. Sometimes I think of like some of my exes and I'm like, you definitely masturbate to yourself in the mirror.

And you think as you should.

Yeah.

Well, not so much for some of them.

Sometimes I think about, do you ever think about other people? Is that bad?

No. I was with my ex for a really long time and I always pictured someone else. Okay. I literally stared at the ceiling.

Yeah. Sometimes I like to get off. I have to think about. I'm like, this isn't this person. This is someone else.

Yeah. 100%. We all do that. Are you joking?

Okay, good.

Especially when they do it when we're having sex. Go for it. Just don't tell me. I would have to be like if we're having sex and I don't know you pretend like I'm Beyonce go for it because there are times I'm pretending you're Beyonce so whatever have you ever been close to orgasming and then you get distracted so then you can't that happens to me a lot.

Yes but I don't know I can't think of like what distracts me do you know Mine's usually like I'm about to come in and they switch up what they're doing or something.

Yeah, for the most part, that's what it is. For the most part, that's what it is.

And then I'm like, why'd you do that?

I don't like when they have a clock in their room. Because we'll be hooking up and then I'm like, oh my gosh.

It's 1am.

I got to go home.

Oh my God. Let me tell you something that happened to me Friday night. I'm not while I was fucking someone, but like I was having the time of my life. And I reached for my phone to look at the time and all the guys in the room go, don't look at the time. Don't look at the time. And I picked it up and it said 7 50 AM.

And I was like, you hadn't slept at all. Nope. I was like, I gotta go. I've got to go right now. Yeah.

See, it's usually the time that kicks in where I'm like, Hey, we got to go to bed. This is craziness.

Yeah.

Never 7 AM. I would die. Are you joking? I, I was.

Having, it was the night of my like share house party and I just like had, I was like high on adrenaline.

Okay.

And I just was having fun with the guys and I just completely lost track of time.

Yeah.

That happens.

Yeah. It was fun.

What do you, what do you do when you're wearing something like shapewear on a date and it makes getting undressed a whole production? Do you take it off in the bathroom? What do you do?

Oh, I don't, I'm not embarrassed by that.

I'm not embarrassed. I, can I tell you, it takes a lot to get me embarrassed.

Same.

A whole lot. And I don't know if that came with age. I don't know what it is. There's not a lot that can like throw me off my game. I agree.

Like that's the same with me.

Shaper is a little intense to get off though.

Yeah. I'm like fucking help me get this off, bitch.

Yeah. Go grab the scissors, cut it off my body. I don't care.

Help me out of this.

Yeah.

It doesn't bother me at all.

Are you a lingerie type of person?

Yeah.

I am too.

When I know I'm going to get it. Oh yeah. Like I have the cutest little set on.

Same.

And I'm ready.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Cause there's nothing hotter than like pulling it to the side.

Yeah. Love that.

Love that so much.

Yeah. Or the crunchless. Oh yeah.

I have like little lingerie sets where there's no.

I like lingerie because it makes me feel sexy.

Well, that's what it should be, right?

Yeah.

I'm not really wearing lingerie for the dude because the dude, once you are getting into the groove of things, all they're thinking about is the hole, which it's like, you're going to get to, buddy. I promise you. You'll find it. If you can't find it, we got a real problem.

We have a really big problem.

There was this guy that was... I'm like, the clit is in the center, baby boy, not to the side. Like, what are we doing?

I hate when they are all.

And they're like rubbing it hard. And you're like, you're not doing nothing for me.

Come on. I literally know exactly in my life, like who in my life does that every fucking time. Every time. It's not there, buddy. That's not where it is. You're off by an inch.

And the fact you can't tell is weird.

It's weird. I'm like, you're rubbing the inside of my thigh and beside my lip. You're not even in the middle of the lips.

What are you doing?

I hate that. I hate that too. It drives me nuts. Nuts. I can understand if I have yoga pants on and you're not really sure where it is. But if I'm fucking naked... And you're rubbing an inch away from my clit. Like where, what, who raised you?

Oh my God. Have you ever hooked up with someone who wanted to keep eye contact for way too long?

Yes. I haven't.

I did.

Or I'm just not aware. Cause let me tell you, I've been in these streets. I've been around the block. The fact that I can like at this age, go into fucking Beverly Hills and pass a guy where he's like, Hey law, what's up? And pass him and be like, I fucked that guy. Holy shit. Weird. Wild.

Wild. And no one's ever just stared at you. No.

Like eye contact like this.

That's that. No. That happened to me recently. Kind of, kind of recently.

And then what do you do? You just like glance away.

I was literally like, like it went from like having sex to going down on me, still staring at me while he's like down there. And then that, and I was like, okay, this is kind of freaking me out. And then I started to look at him and I was like, wait, this is kind of hot.

And then it got like, and then I was like, Oh, I'm not making eye contact with you while you're eating me out. He's talking about 12 chins.

I know, but I did. And it turned me on. It like did something to me. I was like, I've never had, it was different.

Let me tell you, I like when they're not looking at me and all I see is the top of their head and their big ass hands and arms like wrapped around my thighs. I'm like, oh yeah, we're in business, buddy. So hot, hot. And then they come up and it's like, they need to take a breath.

They need air. They need air.

They just turn into whales. Come up for air. Let it out the blowhole. That's so funny.

Yeah.

Oh my God. Have you ever had a guy check their phone and answer the phone during sex?

No, never get out of my house. I've done it. Wait, what?

I remember my high school boyfriend did this. This is the only time, but I remember it was so hot because he was like, like doing his thing. And he was like on the phone. He's like, I'm with my girl right now. I got to call you back. I was like, oh, that's hot. But that's the only time I was like 17, 18 years old.

OK, well, that makes sense because he's young, young.

But if you're answering the phone like balls deep in me.

Yeah.

And you say I'm with my girl. I got to call you back. I obviously know it's not a chick. Oh, I'm going to tell it. Like that I'm kind of okay with.

Why are you answering the phone while you're fucking me?

Sometimes he's got to talk to his mom.

Unless you're like a really high end like businessman and you need to answer your phone.

I'm not hooking up with a successful businessman.

Are you crazy?

Those are the ones who have to pay for sex. They don't even know what the fuck they're doing.

That is so true. My ex-fiance didn't know what he was doing.

Have you ever gone into their bathroom and snooped around?

Yeah.

What do you find? Anything cool?

No.

You know, I don't do that because I don't want them doing that to me.

Oh, I'd kill someone if they did that to me. But like, if I'm in your room and you like left me, I'm like, I'm snooping for sure. Finding hair ties or earrings. Yeah.

That, by the way, that is the fucking worst.

Yeah.

It hasn't happened to me recently, but I remember like back in the day I would go to a dude's house and there's like a condom in the fucking trash can or a hoop earring left on the floor. And it's like, really, really.

Clean your room up before I come over.

And by the way, the next time you come over, I'm going to have a trash can full of condoms. Just so you know. Cause that doesn't feel good.

All right.

That kills the vibe. I don't need to see the condom to know that you're hooking up with other people. Like I got it.

If I have someone coming over here, I'm scared. I'm like scanning my room.

Same.

I like the other day I ran up here and I was like, why are there boxers on my floor? Like, right. Like they look like they had fallen out of the end of my bed. And I was like, Oh, we gotta, gotta do something with those.

See, that's like, that doesn't happen to me because men don't come over here. Like, obviously, like we've talked about this. My kids sleep here. Like Easton and my mom are like the least of my concern. Right. Cause I can punt them anywhere. Like go to Palm Springs, have a staycation, get to the back house, like do what you got to do. My children though, even if my kids aren't here, if a dude comes in, you're, you're bringing in your energy. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what you should do, Sally? You need to sage your place.

Should I?

You absolutely should. If you're, if you've had a lot of men, which totally fine as you should, you're like a single hot person and there's going to be a day where you're locked down for life.

Well, mine are like recycled. My, my, I don't sleep with new men in Charleston.

Really? I'm from California, so we're all about recycling.

So I can't remember the last time I had like a new man in my house.

You had a ghost in the house and you should for sure.

Sage.

You should sage. And there's a very specific way to do it. Like you have to do like the door frames. And then every time you're done with an area, it needs to go out a window or out the door. And then you like the Palo Santo.

Yeah.

Welcome the new energy I think it would be like very helpful for you actually and then because it's fall you could make you like boil a pot of hot water and you put like oranges I think like bay leaves all these things and actually makes the house smell really good but it's also to like detox your environment.

Evil, evil spirits around my house. Yeah.

And even though like, yeah, even though ghost is probably not an evil or, you know, he's just, he's done something to you where you've like become disconnected from your, your path and your journey and your mental state. That will help. Have you ever been into a guy and wanted to hook up, but realized you hadn't shaved?

Yeah. And I don't care. It depends on who the guy is, but I never let myself go that far.

I'm lasered.

Oh, I'm a shaver. Not even a waxer.

Really?

I can get a closer shave than I can with wags.

So then why don't you get lasered?

I should.

Lasered is the best. Except on my legs, they can't go near the tattoo. So I know when it's time to shave because my tattoos get hairy.

Ah.

Sexy, right? Wow, that's funny. So you're really hot.

Is it under armpits too?

The only part I don't have is my arms. I have armpits, full vagina, and legs.

I need to do that.

And like, I keep up on it because I also take Nutrafol. So which like triggers hair growth, which is great.

You have to continue to do it.

Yeah.

Like you do, you do, I think like between depending on your, like what your hair is like in the follicle, you'll do like six to 10 sessions and then you can go a while. I went like two years without touching it again.

Okay.

But it's kind of fun to do. I like it.

See, I'm like a, Like I love my bath time. Like I will take a bath once a day if I don't have a spray tan and I will get in there and I will just my shaving moment. And I'm, I'm watching desperate housewives on my phone. I'm shaving my legs. I'm shaving everything. And it's like my little me time.

You know what though? I, I still will shave my whole body for the mere fact that it exfoliates. Right. Like, yeah.

So I'm like with my razor and I'm like, yeah.

I still shave.

Yeah.

But also like I go into, I go to laser away. That's like my go-to spot. And like, I know the people in there. So it's kind of like a fun little catch up moment. Like I'm just like on my phone and then I'm talking shit. Like, you know, like when you get your hair done and you're talking to the hair girl.

Yeah. That was me all day yesterday. Yeah.

That's what I do with the laser away with the people that are lasering me. You know, I'm like literally in froggy position holding my ass cheeks open and I'm like, yeah, today was like really hard for me. I'm super depressed. And they're like, really? Labia time. This will be spicy.

Oh my God. Does it hurt?

It just feels like little like elastic bands like slapping your skin. No, nothing unbearable. It's kind of nice.

Okay.

But by the way, if I back in the day, like if I hadn't shaved, it's not happening.

Yeah.

I want to be Mr. Biggles world. all day long, you know, hairless kitty cat.

Yep. We love it. We love a naked mole rat.

Naked mole rat.

I love it.

Um, all right. Are you feeling good? Like you can take on the day now after talking about sex and purging?

I can do anything. You got this babe. I'm going to go do anything today. Yep. Just enjoy the day. I'm still stressed out about my I'm going to the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

Oh my God. You're going to have the time of your life. When is that?

I'm so excited. Sunday.

Oh, I can't wait to see your content.

I'm so excited.

When are you coming to LA?

Saturday.

Where's the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?

In LA.

Oh, it's in LA?

Yeah. How fun! I wanted to come earlier, but I have to do a charity event on Friday. So, in Charlotte.

And how long do you get to stay here?

Um... I mean, I think I'm leaving Monday, but yeah, that's it. All right. 24 hours, 48.

Hours, 48 hours in and out, baby.

I can come home and get back in my bed. Oh, I love it.

All right. Well, thank you everyone for listening to another episode of sex unlocked. We love you guys and we will catch you next week.

Bye.

Sex Unlocked: Men That Eat Their Own… WHAT?!

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