Why You Can't Stop Reacting to a Parent with Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder

You've told yourself that this time you won't let it get to you, and somehow you still leave the conversation feeling defeated and distraught, wondering why you can't just let things go.
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent or a parent with unmanaged borderline personality disorder, you learn to brace for the mean comments, the cruelty, the digs that come out of nowhere.
And you work hard to get to a place of radical acceptance- acknowledging who your parent is and what you're likely to experience in your relationship with them. So shouldn't those realistic expectations of your parent come with less emotional distress when they do the toxic thing you're expecting them to do?
Not exactly.
In this episode you'll learn:
• Why a negative emotional reaction to your parent's behavior is healthy and important
• The two things that tend to happen when you successfully lower your reactivity (and why neither is where you want to be)
• Your emotional reaction reframed as data that can inform your boundaries
• The nuanced, gray-area questions to ask yourself to create a reality that leaves you feeling less defeated and depleted
If you're desperate to feel less emotionally consumed by the interactions with your parent, this episode is for you.
Ready to go deeper?
Stop Getting Pulled Back Into the Chaos (confidentboundaries.com/course) is Torie's self-guided course on how to set and enforce boundaries with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic traits. It covers why your boundaries keep failing, what to do instead, and how to keep going when your parent pushes back.
Learn more and get started: confidentboundaries.com/course
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Need help getting ready for your next interaction with a difficult parent? Check out, Surviving Interactions With a Narcissistic, Emotionally Immature, or Otherwise Toxic Parent. (confidentboundaries.com/the-guide)
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Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline.
You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC.