Dig DeepXYZ: Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

Welcome to desperately devoted think of us as your favorite neighbors as we chat about life and relationships.

All while we revisit the iconic show Desperate Housewives together.

I'm Terry Hatcher, I'm Andrea Bowen.

And I'm Emerson Tunny.

So here we are again, because as we know, sometimes the episode of the week is just so jam packed and chock full of interesting things that we just can't squeeze it all into one episode. So, I know, for this one for episode eighteen. So this major theme popped up to all three of us, which was this kind of age old thing that happens with women, specifically about you know, equating beauty with intelligence or aging with somehow not being beautiful anymore, and all of the ways in which we struggle to be perceived as full people in the world. And this popped out so much. You have Gabrielle, you know, in her storyline she mentioned she has a line to Carlos about how he you know, she he might think that because she's pretty, she's therefore stupid. And

then it comes up later when she tells John in that scene like whatever you do, just don't call me beautiful, which was a kind of haunting line for her to say, and Sophie, Susan's mom comes in and has this hang up clearly about aging and wanting to be perceived as Susan's sister and not her mother. And I just think there is so much to really jump into here, and I thought the three of us, being of course three different generations, we might have some really interesting conversations that can come up. So I wanted to talk about beauty standards and how we feel about where we stand today, but certainly how we all felt with the messaging we had in our own individual generation.

I am so glad that we were doing this X Y Z because I think beauty standards and I mean obviously continue to be an interesting topic that evolves, I think from a beauty standard perspective. In my generation, at least, I feel like there is much more, thank God of a move away from the kind of like Barbie dimension beauty standard proportions. I even think about in high school, the way a lot of girls that I grew up with, and even myself like, we wore a lot of eyeliner and makeup, and now I feel like there's such a swing toward wearing less makeup or no makeup and kind of more comfortable clothes, and the skinny jeans are out, and I love a mom jean or an even bag ear jean. And I think there's kind of also more

integration of androgyny in femininity and kind of incorporating the masculine, and that is a style that I feel very at home and comfortable in, and so I'm really appreciative when I see, you know, high fashion brands like Mew Mew or Prada, or when I see other celebrities out in the public eye like Kendall Jenner or Jennifer Lauren kind of exemplify this more androgynous style. Drew Barrymore, I'm actually wearing the Drew Barrymore sweatshirt that we got when we were on the show promoting this podcast. And I think she is another great example of someone who is kind of pushing to have more embracing definitions of what it means to be a woman and what it means to be feminine in terms of beauty being equated with intelligence.

Though this is something that I actually as a young woman working in the industry behind the camera, not as an actor, where obviously there are a lot of different types of beauty standards, but as a writer, I come up against feeling like sometimes I am judged as a more attractive young woman that I am not going to be as intelligent of a writer. And obviously my job is all about my intellect. It has nothing to do with what I look like. And I actually this made me think of a story about two summers ago. I was in London with my mom for the Coraline was celebrating its fifteen year anniversary, and we went to dinner with a lot of filmmakers and people who had been involved in the film, and we had My mom and

I had both been kind of made up because there had been a little bit of a red carpet at the exhibit, and I don't really wear makeup like that in my day to day life, but I had, you know, I'd had my makeup done and I had my hair done, and I looked a little bit more glam than I normally do. And we were at lunch and the wife of one of the filmmakers there I was talking to about being a writer and she goes, well, I hope you don't look like this when you go into meetings, because no one will take you seriously.

Wow.

Wow, And it really stuck with me because it made me feels so kind of small and insecure and was taking honestly in a way that Carlos does with Gabby, taking my looks and implying that no one will take me seriously as a writer, which is my career if I present as more glamorous in certain settings.

And it is.

It was a very It was really a comment that has stuck with me since then and is something I think about.

Well, I you know, I guess I have a lot to say about this. I mean, just you know, being really young, before I was an act or anything. In high school, I clearly remember, in fact, I remember the dress. So I went away the summer of my sophomore year at high school with like no breast, and I came back as a junior with little, like with you know, size B breast.

So they will but she says little, because I'm weren't they weren't little?

No. I was gonna say, yeah, they I said little, But they weren't. They were like a be a bee, a noticeable, physical, noticeable change. And I had this yellow kind of polyester dress from the eighties and and all the boys. All the seniors suddenly noticed me like I suddenly, and I felt horrible about it because I couldn't make sense of why did nobody talk to me last year, and now that I have breasts, everybody seems to be interested.

And it made me feel really ashamed of my breast. I didn't like my breasts. I didn't I didn't want to be known for that. Ironically, I know, I was like, wait a second, yeah, wait a second. Cut to my career and I would say, you know, it's interesting. I've actually heard Pamela Anderson talk a little bit about this, and you know, we all know that she's had her you know, reinvention of herself and her whole career, and a big part of that has been her exposing her face literally with no makeup, but also like her persona is, just to be who she is. And I really applaud what she's talked about that allowing herself to be who she is kind of for the first time in her life.

And blaming her beauty and her body as her And.

I definitely feel that, you know, most I guess I can just speak for myself. I never thought I was beautiful, Like I know, there are people who rightfully sow and I kind of wish I had this confidence who have looked in the mirror of their whole lives and I'm not even saying it like with arrogance, they've just looked in the mirror and they've been like, I'm beautiful. I'm a model, or I'm an actor, I'm a beautiful person, and I go through the world and you know, I'm beautiful.

I never felt that way about myself, which I you know, it's is a regret. I mean, I'm not saying that there's nothing heroic about that. It's just my personal self esteem issues. I never felt that way, but the world, especially in my professional world, reflected on me that I was beautiful and you know, on the cover of magazines or was the sexiest woman in whatever how long you know, blah.

The world that was that headline.

Okay, this the world, right, So something I never asked to be reflected at me and honestly wasn't particularly comfortable with. Then as I age got taken away from me, like you're not beautiful anymore. Now you're just old. Now you're just didn't you know, you didn't age well whatever that means, Like like I haven't done it right. So there's this whole narrative about the exterior of me that I was never a part of, but I've had to live with.

And it didn't include at all my intellect or my talent or what I might have potentially been capable of. And it is why my number one favorite thing about being sixty is that I feel like, for the first time in my life, people are going to have to look at me and deal with me and judge me for who I am and not what I look like, and that I don't know if it's going to work in my favor or not. I don't know if I'll get acting jobs that I like. I don't know if I'll make any money. I don't know what the result is going to be. But what I do know is that the person I am when I walk into a room and I audition or I have a meeting with somebody, it is much less concerned with what the exterior of my face and body look like.

That has to probably feel very freeing.

I feel like it's freeing. Like I said, it may not work, you know, may nobody may be interested in me while I'm not quote unquote useful and beautiful, but I hope that they are because I think that I have a lot to offer. I think I have more to offer. I think I've more offered of course, yeah when I was younger.

Yeah, well, and you're absolutely beautiful. You are very incredibly beautiful, always have been, always will be. I think that's my opinion. But I think I just feel like there's there's we could talk about this forever. I'm sure it will come up in future episodes as well, because of course it's always relevant the idea, especially when you.

Were the show had five women who were all pretty as their leads.

Yes, yeah, exactly, And and I just think, like I remember, I just I was thinking a lot about how this show premiered in two thousand and four, and another show that was on at this time in two thousand and four was a reality show called The Swan. Do you guys remember this show at all?

Oh?

What is this? Oh? Enlighten us reality Queen?

Yeah, okay, so I, oh my gosh, I don't deserve that title, but I will say The Swan. I'm really glad that you guys don't remember this or don't know about it, because your jaws are going to hit the floor. The Swan was a reality show that took women who felt like they were not beautiful because society has told them they're not beautiful, just you know, regular regular women out in the world, not actresses, not models, just women.

And then they incorporated them getting plastic surgery over the course of several months, and then then they all competed against each other in a beauty pageant. What the fuck exactly they are? Jaw show. That show was on the air in two thousand and fourteen year old bab I know, I know, and as a fourteen year old girl, I remember watching this show and being so horrified that not only was the messaging like change your physical appearance through surgery, which again like, of course if you want to, and you can, like whatever, do what you want to be happy, but it wasn't that. It was them as a show producing this saying you come on the show, We're going to change your appearance, and then we're gonna make you

compete against each other. I'm like, so sad for the wh I know. So I think that show got two seasons as well. So I like to think that we've come a long way. I do think we're in an interesting time now where there's a little bit of a homogenized look.

Oh my god, between ozempic and eyelifts. I like ozempic and eyelifts. Literally, I feel like everyone in Hollywood suddenly looks the same again in the last two years. I don't Yeah, I don't love it.

No, I don't love it either, But it is interesting that you kind of have these two lanes. You've got, you know, I'm gonna call it the Pamela Anderson lane because I think she deserves, you know, the street title. And then you've got still what is you know, the well the Ozempic I Live lane, you know, and plenty of celebrities out there doubling down on that they're skinnier than ever.

I have been pretty disappointed to see some actors now I'm not going to say like celebrities, because I think that is a difference, but some really incredible actors whose work I love and who I think have really unique looks. I would say in the last year, I don't want to say fall into the trap, because I'm not trying to have judgment about whatever you want to do that makes you happy, but choose to go down the lane of obviously altering things on their face to look more homogenized with other celebrities who maybe aren't actually actors. And I think, as an artist and as a writer who aspires to write scripts that I imagine actors embodying, there is a loss. There's actually kind of a great loss for

me of some people I grew up really idolizing, who have changed some things about themselves and I think look less like real people.

Well, I wonder my parting words I want, you know, I wonder who to blame, and I I guess we'll ultimately like have to blame ourselves. I mean, I sometimes do think that like we've created our own monster. You know. Uh it's you know, with our purchases, with you know, what we tune into, like you know, we make things popular and then we create the monster. So I think we we have the power that if if if you know it isn't what you want, don't buy it, you know, stop consuming it, stop consuming it. I do wonder if like you know, all the tuning, all the all the filters, like if it made people it's brain changed and then they looked in the mirror and went like, oh I need a fill for my face, And I'm so used

to looking at myself with the filter. Now it don't look like like I. But again, we've done it to ourselves. You know, we've done it to ourselves, and it's sad. So because I'm here to say, we're all beautiful for who we are and whatever that means to be beautiful. I think being beautiful is about being a good person.

I hope that's what counts.

I agree, I am all right. Well, thanks for chatting about this.

I know there's more. I feel like we go on. We'll have to, We'll have to do this one again. Let us know what you think, let us know, hope we should keep talking about inner beauty and outer beauty.

And if you have things to add, if you have perspectives to add, right to us. We'll pick it up in our next X y Z about beauty. Yes we will, okay, because we are desperately devoted to you.

Absolutely see next week five

Dig DeepXYZ: Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful

Kapitelklicken springt direkt hin

Shownotes

Transkriptvom Podcast bereitgestellt · Zeitmarken springen hin