My sister CONFESSED a crush on my husband…on my wedding day! -r/amioverreacting | Reddit Stories | EP3120

0:00 Hey, this is Angie.

0:01 And this is Riley, your favorite OK Storytime host. And we got some great stories coming up.

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0:10 My sister confessed a crush on my husband on my wedding day.

0:14 This is not funny.

0:15 My husband and sister had gotten along amazingly since he and I were dating. Granted, he can be a bit of a knucklehead sometimes, but other than that, it was fine. We got married in February of last year. Due to extreme circumstances with his parents, who we are now no contact with, the wedding was basically an elopement. My sister then, on the already traumatic wedding day, decided to inform me that she... had had a huge crush on my husband while we were dating and working together. We all worked at the same place. I was uneasy but brushed past it.

0:44 Since then she has been, I kid you not, non-stop pushy about being alone with him.

0:49 Touchy.

0:50 All the I have a crush things. And at first I genuinely thought I was overreacting. Until I had her daughter and my husband didn't come home until late. When I asked where he was, granted I texted his phone, My sister sends me a picture of them in his car hanging out. I was livid because I texted him, not her. I lost it when he got home. He assured me there was nothing on his end, but I was still obviously upset. By the way, this comes from Zealous Ideal T6678. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash showcase story time subreddit.

1:22 I'm Sophia. I'm Dakota.

1:23 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. Flash forward to now, June 2026. My husband and I decided to renew our vows and throw the big wedding we wanted, but couldn't originally have due to circumstances. Day of, my sister is being so rude, and she again mentions, this time to all of our closest friends, about her former crush. My husband's best friend has pointed out to him numerous times that my sister is clearly trying to get with him, break us up, etc. She also walks around half unclothed, dress how you want, but have some decorum.

2:00 My husband and I had a really bad living situation, so when he had to move immediately... We moved into an apartment that my parents rent out while we save for another place. My sister then also moved back in and we share a common space, kitchen bathroom. Ever since she moved back in, it's been nothing but trouble every single day. Y'all gotta get out of there. We could not be living with home wrecking sister. My husband enjoys gaming in his off time, which is totally fine. It's when he's up till 5 to 6 a.m. waking me up or being loud that aggravates me. My sister recently got herself a PlayStation and ever since then they play together every night or almost every night until 5 to 6 a.m. Even when I beg him not to be

2:41 up so late because we either have plans in the morning or he's a grump when he wakes up. He's gaming with your sister until 5 to 6 a.m.

2:50 Yeah, but like, that's just the gaming, you know? That's just the gaming talking.

2:54 Y'all have a daughter.

2:55 Y'all have a kid. The game came first.

2:58 Yeah. He's like, well, my daughter can't defeat the big boss battle for me, so she doesn't really matter. Even when I beg him not to be up so late, when I first confronted him about it, he told me she's just easier to talk to. That stung because every time I asked about his day or whatever, he just says it was fine and gets upset with me for pressing more. Fast forward to now, the last week or so.

3:20 They've been staying up till 5 to 6 a.m., and I wake up to hear giggling and laughing after he told me, just one more game, and he was gonna go to bed at like 1 or 2. Tonight was my final straw, because I had previously told him multiple times how uncomfortable these late night sessions make me, and he said he would put a stop to them. I've said something so many times, I've lost count. He swears to me there's nothing happening, nothing at all, whatever, but whenever she and him are together, she's constantly trying to make herself look more attractive. example pulling down her shirt so her bra is showing or her pants so her underwear is showing that type of thing last week we bought a bed off facebook marketplace and she insisted on

4:00 going with him to get it i'm currently in a high risk pregnancy and shouldn't be lifting but i wanted to go and she would not let me he was unaware of her insisting and when told they were going to get the bed he accepted it well they ended up being gone for more than two hours the meetup was only 30 minutes away.

4:18 Okay, that's a perfectly normal amount of time to take to get a bed into your car. You have to drive 30 minutes away.

4:27 So like an hour total. I could see an extra hour. Maybe they stopped for coffee. Going somewhere for something without telling me or my mom. We were waiting for them to return to build the bed frames. And I was quite unhappy when they arrived because my sister was giving me smirks and sassy looks. But anyways, tonight I ended up getting so angry that I went to go sleep in our daughter's room. She had woken up at this point and I lay there trying to convince her to go back to sleep. I was upset because when I left the room, my husband asked out loud why I was so upset. And my sister, through his headphones, went, oh, she's just overreacting. I'm cutting off my sister at this point.

5:01 I'm saying, hey, if you want to stay here with her, all good. I'm divorcing you. He ended up leaving the game soon after and came to talk to me. And I told him yet again how uncomfortable it makes me. Oh, I'm tired of being woken up by this every night. I feel like me walking out of the room and getting so upset maybe was overreacting. But I honestly don't know.

5:21 He keeps assuring me nothing is going on, but I'm still unsure. Am I overreacting? There is an update. But what do you think? Is OP overreacting?

5:30 Yeah.

5:31 Yeah, sure.

5:32 Yeah, sure. Let him game until six in the morning and hang out with your sister who clearly just wants to, like, I don't know, make you feel bad.

5:43 Has told you point blank that she likes your husband?

5:47 And your husband is aware that she said this, right? Oh, yeah.

5:50 He must be because he said, oh, well, there's nothing on my side. When OP said, oh, you know, I don't feel comfortable. He's like, well, there's nothing on my side. So he knows that there's something on her side. I mean, you have to be an idiot. Update. I want to clear up a few things. First of all, my sister is not single. She has a boyfriend who is actually not a great guy himself. And ever since getting with him, her behavior has worsened. She's also been a complete knucklehead since we were children. She was always upset because I had more friends than she did. And in turn, she tried to sabotage friendships. So maybe I should have seen this coming. Second, I know a lot of you said I needed to grow a spine, a backbone, a pair

6:28 of balls, and I promise I'm trying. I did not truly think it was this bad until now. Third, I actually am going to show him this post because if he truly is just clueless and trying to be a good brother-in-law, the comments might help change his mind. We do have a second update. Do you think they will change his mind?

6:44 No.

6:45 Nope.

6:45 I think the guy that spends all night until 6am with your sister is not clueless. Update two. I showed my husband this post and he agreed that it has gone too far. He genuinely did not think it was this bad. I asked him how he felt whenever I told him it made me uncomfortable. He said sad because he wanted to fix it but just wasn't Quite sure how.

7:05 But from now on, there will be no more late night gaming sessions. And if there are, I'm leaving. I stated that clearly. What do you think OP should do? Should she stay? Should she go? Do you believe, husband?

7:17 I think. Therefore, I am.

7:19 Ah, little Renee.

7:21 Renee in those carts.

7:23 Renee rap.

7:24 I don't know, dude. Challenge your sister to a wrestling match.

7:27 Yeah.

7:28 Whoever wins gets... Your husband.

7:30 Like this needs to be fought in a physical arena.

7:32 Yeah.

7:33 I think you need to face her head on.

7:35 I agree.

7:36 I think she's gotten away with too much for too long because she knows that you'll just let it happen.

7:41 Yeah. You need to do a top rope elbow drop.

7:43 You need to do like Wii sports fencing against your sister. OP continues, my parents are involved and my sister will be dealt with in due time, if not immediately. How she will be dealt with, I don't know. But it is nice to know I'm not overreacting or crazy. He also admitted that he just felt bad because my sister always says she has no friends. His best friend even ended up getting involved and said something to him along the lines of, you have a wife and child. And you're allowing your sister-in-law to act like this? The minute we move out, I'm going low contact with my sister.

8:12 The only reason I haven't is because one, we still live together, sort of. And two, it would break my mother's heart. It's also breaking her heart that one of her daughters has the audacity to try and sleep with her other daughter's husband.

8:24 Okay, but like you say that, but there's no real evidence that that's even happened.

8:29 That she's trying to sleep with.

8:30 Yeah, there's just evidence that like she's spending time with him.

8:33 My husband has also told me numerous times before that the way my sister dresses and pushes herself around makes him uncomfortable. And anytime we've said anything to her, she just rolls her eyes and gets annoyed. That's the end of the story. But I would like to draw your eyes to when he told his wife that her sister is just easier to talk to.

8:52 I was thinking about that. Yeah. I mean, maybe his sister-in-law is a vibe.

8:57 Yeah.

8:57 But also OP knows that underneath that vibe is I want to sleep with you or your husband.

9:04 I'm just worried that even taking the sister out of the equation, it doesn't solve the fact that your husband doesn't know how to tell you about his day or doesn't want to.

9:15 Yeah.

9:16 That's bad. I don't know. I get the sense that OP and her husband are very different people. Yeah. And I get I got a little bit of the sense that OP could be hard to, I guess. The thing that got me was after the, he was in the car with her or something.

9:31 Oh, when the sister texted?

9:32 Yeah.

9:33 And then it was like blowing up at him and he's like, what? Like, oh my God.

9:37 I could see that maybe she was at a, you know, a point, a breaking point where this had constantly been happening. But let's see. We'll see. We don't know how their relationship is. Maybe they'll get to the renewal of the vows later.

9:50 Maybe they'll have another kid and that'll fix it. Yeah.

9:53 Just add one more.

9:54 I've always heard that's the way to do it.

9:56 Just add water, they say. But that's the end of that story. And we got another one. coming right up. My husband spent my inheritance on his taxes. Now he says I'm neglecting the bills.

10:06 Sounds like he was mismanaging them.

10:08 My husband makes approximately 140k a year in sales and does approximately 15 to 20 hours of work in a busy week. I make 40k a year, commute three hours per day, and work 40 hours a week. I do some part-time work as well that supplements my income, maybe 3k a year. Anyways, we have a joint account to pay bills and mortgage and personal checking accounts. I contribute just a hair shy of half of the monthly expenses.

10:33 Dang.

10:34 Half and you make 40K?

10:36 That's impressive.

10:37 I spend approximately $ 600 per month getting to and from work. So I am usually a little in the red each month. Last night we went to a warehouse sale. I had sold some belongings online and was using my funds to treat myself. My husband was in the area looking at a new motorcycle to purchase. He bought one earlier in the year for 20k and now wants a track bike for 5k. I am always encouraging of his hobbies so I'm excited as he tells me about his new bike.

11:02 When I start asking him about other costs he turns the conversation to our joint experience. account and says I notice you've been neglecting it it's in the negatives I calmly explained that I need to make partial payments over the course of the month and unfortunately my pay schedule falls just behind the mortgage schedule I rely on him to make up the difference he's like oh well it never used to happen I then explained that I had put a large lump sum in a few months earlier from my inheritance and explained that I had run out now my husband used it to pay off his personal taxes By the way, this comes from ConfusedWife1, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

11:37 I'm Riley.

11:38 And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. I'm just really frustrated because I work so hard, and he always wants me to make more money. I love my job and my career and I'm happy. I feel like it's never enough. Whenever I talk about work, he always asks when I'm getting a raise. When I shop for jobs, the first thing he wants to know when I get an offer is how much I'll get paid.

12:00 When I have a bit of extra money, I'm afraid to tell him because he thinks of my money as ours and his money as his.

12:06 Oh! Uh, why?

12:09 Oh, because if you guys thought of your money as yours, you would be writing this.

12:14 Yeah.

12:14 He gets to dictate vacations and going out because he pays for it. And I simply cannot afford it. This is not a partnership. It's really difficult for me. He makes jokes like he's my sugar daddy. He's not your sugar daddy if he's your husband.

12:27 Sugar daddies treat their baby girls way better than this.

12:30 Sugar daddies are like, oh, what do you want? Anything for you?

12:33 Where do you want to go?

12:34 My money's yours.

12:35 Oh, you like that purse?

12:36 I got it.

12:37 Yeah, this is.

12:38 You are in debt to me forever.

12:39 Yeah.

12:40 It feels like your immature boyfriend.

12:42 Yeah.

12:43 But I pay for my share and my own personal needs. It really hurts my feelings. I've explained this to him, but it doesn't seem to work. He buys motorcycles and then tells me not to have two showers a day because of the water bill. Or I should sell my car I paid for. Because it's worse on gas than his.

12:59 And we'll use the money to buy him a new one and I'll get.

13:03 His old one.

13:04 What?

13:05 Oh, wait, you'll get his old one.

13:06 Yeah, but he's basically saying sell your car.

13:08 So he can get a new one.

13:09 So that I can get a new car. Am I a crazy spoiled woman or is he making me crazy? Update. I spoke to him last night and here's what happened. Earlier that day, I asked him about the money. He agreed to do whatever I wanted with it. He still seemed reluctant about it, stating stipulations about groceries and other very basic things. I left that conversation feeling like although he had given me what I had asked, it wasn't coming from love or loyalty. Later, I picked a fight because I had, with help of all you Redditors, convinced myself that I should leave. So I sat him down and explained exactly how I felt. I was honest about wanting to leave because I was young enough to start fresh.

13:44 Do you think this approach is good?

13:46 The fact that she brought up leaving so quickly?

13:48 Well, it seems like she's been going through this for a while.

13:51 This is also her first honest conversation. That's what gets me.

13:55 Yeah.

13:56 If her, if you go to a, this is a little weird, go to a conversation, say how you feel, and then you threaten you're going to leave instead of actually talking about your feelings. I don't know why, but that kind of rose me a long way of like, why didn't we talk earlier?

14:08 I totally see that. It seems like OP didn't know how to communicate effectively before.

14:12 Good point, good point.

14:13 Which is not good. But yeah, I guess it comes to a level of how much honesty do you want? She is being honest.

14:21 Yeah. Yeah.

14:22 Good point. You think she should leave?

14:24 Yeah.

14:24 Unless he has a huge change of heart and is like, oh my God, I totally understand where you're coming from. Those are the only two options. He had been feeling the same way. It was such a relief for us both to know that we had both been thinking the same thing and it was okay. I could openly talk about the crap that bothered me most and he was totally calm and cool about it and actually agreed with me.

14:44 We both admitted we just weren't that into it. Now we agreed to try counseling and failing that we will split amicably. He has also realized that what we were doing with money was unrealistic and in the interim at least wants to make sure we have a community finance strategy so that I'm not tight on cash and I don't need to ask for money. Most of all, I've learned to not be a coward and be 100% honest.

15:05 I've always tried to spare his feelings and it was costing me a healthy relationship.

15:08 Thanks, everyone.

15:09 So much.

15:10 So she just wasn't speaking up.

15:12 Yeah, I think neither of them were being truthful. And the second they were, it was like, oh, we're on the same page.

15:19 They were assuming the worst of each other. Yeah.

15:22 Oh.

15:22 And that's what happens when you don't communicate, folks.

15:25 Yep.

15:26 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

15:29 I found flirty texts on my partner's phone, so he made me the problem.

15:34 You can't turn this on me.

15:35 We've been together for about nine years now, and we're going home with three kids, eight, three, and 11 months old. It's hectic, and I am constantly feeling like I'm drowning. He goes out every week or two with friends to their houses or... out to a bar. A few months ago I lost it as he stayed out all night with zero contact with me all day long and just waltzed in the next morning at like 10.30am like no big deal. After some digging He said he stayed with his uncle and I checked it out to be true.

16:05 Since he still goes out every now and then, I am jealous he gets to leave and have a life. I'm jealous he even gets to go to work and socialize with adults. We only have one person who can babysit the kids and they do so very reluctantly.

16:19 If it ever happens.

16:20 So he says it's just easier for everyone if he goes out with friends. So we never go out unless it's a super rare occasion. Maybe a week or so ago, he stayed up all night drinking at home. I woke up around 6 a.m. with the baby and the kids. He's sleeping on the couch and he gets some text messages. They display right in front of the screen. So I saw they were from a woman and they were in reply to something he had said to her. But weren't exactly danging. Still, these texts are at 6am and he was texting her at night while wasted. By the way, this comes from Banana Jammas and if you want to see my own stories, you know where to go.

16:59 I'm Riley.

16:59 I'm Sophia.

17:00 And Sophia and I are going to read this goofily. If you have anything you'd like to add, please add it down below. I pushed it out of my mind until he left his phone at home while running to the store the other day. I looked to see who this person was and what they were talking about. It was a co-worker. Always the co-workers.

17:15 Stop it.

17:16 Stop it.

17:17 Focus on your job.

17:18 And seemed innocent enough until I scrolled up and saw he sent her, did I slap your butt last night? I was feeling the liberties. Or something like that. She said she didn't remember. And she didn't care if he did. Husband comes home and I am in a mess. He's pissed about me going through his phone. He says he doesn't feel like spending the energy trying to defend himself because nothing happened and it was just a joke. like how he would smack guys' butts.

17:47 Yes, that's the same thing.

17:50 I smack guys' butts all the time, and we never text about it.

17:53 Yeah, we don't go, did I smack your butt yesterday? Because they usually know.

17:57 Ultimately, he turned it around enough so that I was the one trying to explain myself why I was going through his phone, why I don't trust him and what is wrong with me. Then he starts to guilt trip me like I'm going to act like this. He will just never go out again. It's been three or more days since this happened and I have hardly spoken to him since. He knows I'm upset but hasn't tried to talk to me or ask me what is bothering me.

18:23 The idea that he's out getting wasted with coworkers and slapping some girl's butt or thinking he slapped her butt. Completely disgusts me. I mean, if I was there with him, would he have done that?

18:34 No.

18:34 I just have no idea how to proceed from here. What do you guys think?

18:38 Ooh, sounds like you've got a little man, baby.

18:42 The butt slapping thing's not that big of a deal. He's the type of guy where he slaps everybody's butt and he checks in with them.

18:47 It's like, hey, did I slap your butt? Sorry about that.

18:49 I don't even remember.

18:50 It's just, you know, can't keep his hands to himself. And he has short-term memory loss.

18:54 Yeah, it's not his fault. It's not his fault he leaves his wife and kids at home all the time and never lets her have a break.

19:01 He just forgot he had that.

19:02 He's like, wait, I have kids.

19:05 Update. I'm really, really, truly thankful for everyone who has commented. And I haven't gone through everything, but... I do have an update. I got a bottle of wine to sit and talk with him about the issues today. In a nutshell, says this girl is one of the guys and it was not flirtatious or or anything like that.

19:22 I mean, the real issue here is that he's never home.

19:25 He agrees that I need my own time out. Says he will watch the kids. Made some ridiculous suggestion about buying me a plane ticket to leave for a week that he'd watch them. I laugh because that is obviously not going to happen for many reasons.

19:39 He's like, yes, get out of town.

19:41 Leave.

19:41 I'm not going to have anyone over.

19:42 Leave.

19:43 He said the last thing he wanted was to be laughed at and went to go pout in the garage. I went upstairs. He eventually came. up and said to me, do you really want to know what happened that night?

19:53 That was such a quick turnaround.

19:55 Yes.

19:56 He slapped another girl's butt, someone he didn't know, just some girl. And he was doing damage control by contacting his coworker to see if If he had slapped hers too. So he wouldn't have crap to do with when they went to work together. I started crying. He sat down for about two to three minutes of that in our room, then went back downstairs to apparently finish his video game.

20:17 As I heard all the sound come back on, I slammed the bedroom and that's where I am now. Edit to clarify. I am a work at home mom.

20:26 Good.

20:27 He does not support our entire family.

20:29 Awesome.

20:29 I take care of the entire mortgage, the water bill, the gas bill, the cable bill, I work at night when the kids go to bed. That's why I feel like I'm drowning. I have absolutely no me time.

20:40 All right, then let's drop him because he's not helping you at all.

20:43 Agreed.

20:43 Bye.

20:44 That is ridiculous. That is crazy. Girlfriend, I hope you figure something out.

20:48 Figure something out.

20:49 I'm so sorry, man. That's tough. That's the end of that story.

20:52 But we got another one coming right up.

20:54 My wife and I agreed to a wild Vegas night and now she wants me to move out.

20:59 What happens in Vegas goes on Reddit.

21:01 My wife and I have been married for eight years and have two children. She stays at home with the kids and I work. We went to Vegas on vacation to get away from the kids.

21:11 Vegas was your option?

21:12 You didn't take them with you?

21:13 Circus circus.

21:14 Say here kid pull mommy's slot machine handle.

21:17 They won't allow you to do that actually.

21:18 I know they will show up immediately and be like, hey, I know that. It happened to me.

21:23 It happened to me too.

21:24 Our agreed agenda was to drink a lot, and we did. Hang out at the pool and generally be irresponsible for the weekend. During our trip, we found ourselves at a spicy dancer club, and it wasn't totally spur of the moment. She had expressed to friends before we left that she'd like to go to one again. We previously went together before we were married. When asked if she'd get jealous, her answer was something along the lines of, he knows who he's going home with. The day before in Vegas, I casually mentioned going to one and got the response, that would be hot. And when I drunkenly proposed it that night, her response was, okay. The point is, is that we talked about it before.

21:58 And all parties looked like it was agreed upon.

22:00 And all parties looked like they were like....

22:04 Or so we thought. Dakota got himself a drink and didn't get me a frickin' thing. Because he hates me. I always ask him, when I go to the market or anywhere, do you want anything? What did he do this time?

22:14 It's okay. When we got there, I looked for acknowledgement from her before any step was taken. Spicy Dance number one asked us if we wanted a lap dance. I looked over at her and it was a yes.

22:25 Done.

22:25 Then she came back and asked if we wanted another. Looked back at my wife and it was another, yes. Back room? The look was, no. Then my wife asks me to pick the next one. So I picked one that I knew was my wife's type. We got a lap dance and then got the question if we wanted to go to the back. Spicy dancer number two was a lot freakier than the last one. I looked at my wife and her face said, yes, yes, yes. I knew it was a ripoff, but why not? By the way, this comes from Car Sleeping Dad. If you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. Why don't you? I'm Dakota.

23:00 I'm Keon.

23:01 We're going to read this story of this poor man getting finessed by dances of spice. We're going to have our thoughts. We're going to say them. You get to have your thoughts. You get to write them in the comments. We get to read them. Everyone's happy. We love each other. So we get taken to the back. And this is where things escalate. They ask us if we want 15 or 30 minutes. I said 15, but my wife looks at me and says 30. 30 minutes it is. We ended up having three sessions with the same yayus nod from her. I asked her to dance on my wife and my wife asks her to dance on me. It was a back and forth and the smirk on my wife's face told me she liked it. I asked her, what's so hot about seeing your spouse with someone else?

23:40 Her response was, because it's naughty. As the night went on, my wife got kind of crazy. They each had their hands down each other's pants and did stuff that a guy would get booted out of the club for. I got lap dances and rubbed my hands on her body. My wife watched with a smirk and towards the end, the three of us were all talking about having a party of three. I told the dancer that it was my wife's fantasy to do the deed with other people.

24:07 My wife whispered something to her and she responded with, I'm more into two guys. Then it was over and we went back to the hotel room. My wife was very wasted. She threw up in the bathroom and passed out.

24:19 Aw, you helped her though, right?

24:20 She woke up the next morning and we made love and spent the day hungover together. She told me that she blacked out at the third session in the back and asked, what happened? I gave her the details and we went on our way. Later in the day, she expressed guilt for how she acted with the dancer and I tried to reinforce that it really wasn't a problem for me. She said she felt better. Out of nowhere, two days later, she asks me to move out. She said that I forced her to go to the club, and I told the dancer I wanted to sleep with her, and all the money we spent was all my fault.

24:49 No.

24:50 No.

24:50 No.

24:51 No, no. Not true. Not true.

24:53 Do you remember what happens if Vegas stays in Vegas, honey?

24:56 I am 100% sure that these things did not happen, and I refuse to leave and get another place, so... Now I'm sleeping in my car at night because she doesn't want me in the guest house. We've had rough patches before, but it has always been grounded in some fact that had an impact on her. Therefore, I had something to work on. In this case, I completely reject her memory of the facts, so I don't have any starting point for a meaningful conversation to reconcile. I am stuck.

25:21 The question is, how do I approach repairing things with her? I want to keep this marriage... I just don't know how to have a conversation with her about this when I completely reject the foundation her feelings are built on. She refused his marriage counseling, so bringing a third party in to help is not an option. It's all on me.

25:34 Well, that's... Ain't that just dapper?

25:36 Yeah, and we do have an update.

25:37 You know what you do? I know what you do. You go, alright, babe, we're doing it hangover style. We're retracing our steps.

25:42 Yeah.

25:43 I mean, could we go back to the spicy club?

25:45 Yeah.

25:45 We asked for that spicy dancer.

25:46 Yeah.

25:47 And she tells you everything that happened.

25:48 Yeah.

25:49 I think that is a possibility. I think you can approach this by saying we we did. We did. Look, I think you should approach it because clearly you based on your recount, this was a mutual decision to go to this place. And then she ended up lagging out. But I think you should approach it instead as like, OK, so what's really going on? You can tell me what's going on.

26:09 Yeah, why wasn't this brought up to me earlier? What has been going through your head for the past two, three days of now this is all bad? It seemed like everything was fine.

26:17 You know, it could be she's like, dang, do I like women more than I like men? Or maybe she's like, dang, like, I don't know, that weekend was like, maybe she didn't like how it felt coming back home. And then it's like, you know, you're back with the kids. And it's like, that was wrong. I don't like that we did that.

26:31 Yeah, the switch up of the life, you know, the actual lifestyle. Like, oh, that's not who I am anymore.

26:35 Yeah, so I don't like the person I was this weekend. And she feels like it was because you guys were together. Who knows?

26:41 The one thing could have been, oh, she was not necessarily taken advantage of, but I was intoxicated.

26:46 And like.

26:47 I just said yes because, you know, that wasn't me. That wasn't me.

26:50 Yeah, so I think just try to be understanding and don't be defensive because... Just go, yeah. Because the facts of the matter support you. Update. After a week of long silences and arguments, we finally had a discussion today where we sat down to talk about specifics. The thing that started this off was me relaying to her what happened the night before. I told her we each told her that we wanted to... be with other... I told her that we each told the dancer that we wanted to sleep with other people. She interpreted this as I said I wanted to sleep with her. She remembers the conversation now and this no longer seems to be an issue. Second, she feels like going to the club with another couple

27:31 is very different than going together. She had a feeling of I'm not good enough all along the way and said yes every time because she thought it was what I wanted and I can understand that. The biggest issue now is that she thinks I'm I'm gaslighting her and says that this is what her father does to her and she had no problem cutting him out of her life.

27:49 In her view, the following is gaslighting her and not acknowledging her feelings, refusing to leave the house. She says that she needs time to heal. Anytime I say I want to have a rational conversation. Anytime I propose going to a therapist. She feels like I'm saying that she's wrong. She says that the part that hurts the most is that in the last week I haven't done much to try to repair or provide gestures. to show that I want to work things out. How can you? Tell me.

28:17 Don't just say, get out, sleep in the car, you're not allowed in the house, without this reason. Uh-oh, she's internalizing a lot of these things.

28:25 This is mess. This is mess central. She wanted me to suggest a do-over weekend, not cancel plans that we had set up to do an activity together. Personally, I have felt lost the past week. and have had no idea how to approach her. Any ideas for ways I can show her that I'm not her dad? I really don't know what I'm going to do next. I want to repair things with her and have some great ideas from this comment thread. I'll update you when things settle down.

28:50 And by the way, I'm back sleeping in the guest house. This was an offer she put forward. Also, she told me that she's not discussing this life-altering decision with friends and family because she doesn't come out looking good in this story.

29:01 Did she say that?

29:01 Yep.

29:02 Gee willikers.

29:04 So I think, yeah, I think the problem is she doesn't like the way that she behaved and she can't really deal with it. So she's finding ways to make it your fault.

29:15 And she can't say, and again, it's probably stemming from her childhood with her father. where she can't say it because probably when she did as a child, her father would just say, no, that's nonsense or gaslight her.

29:26 Yeah, I don't know. I gotta say, it just really sounds like whatever she was saying when she was under the influence, she was not ready to hear.

29:34 This can't be the first time it's coming up because they have kids together. They've been married. There's no way this is the first time where she's like, that's what my father does.

29:41 Well, but she was also saying that she was, you know, saying yes because she thought that it's what OP wanted, which is, you know, toxic in a way. It's like, because now you can't now then go and blame him because you were unable to voice your actual thoughts in a situation.

29:59 No wonder OP's like, I don't know how to approach the situation because any way you approach it, she's going to just deflect it or project.

30:06 Yeah, I mean, it seems like at this point, the only way you could approach the situation is to just take responsibility for everything and be like, let's, you know, have a different, let's do another weekend and let's move on and move past this and we'll forget that this ever happened. This is just a glitch.

30:21 Try, yeah, try and wipe it, but then be like, I think we need therapy for both of us. Don't say you need therapy. Because again, she doesn't like that. Say, I think we should just have therapy. Yeah.

30:31 Say, I need therapy. Say, I need therapy and I'd love if you came with me and we did it together.

30:35 Which is a kind of, it's kind of backwards, but yes, she does need therapy for sure.

30:40 Yeah. But that is the extent of our advice in the end of that story.

30:44 What happens in Vegas goes on Reddit.

30:45 What happens in Vegas ruins your marriage.

30:47 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

30:50 Hey, this is Riley, the host that can't really read that well. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes worth of ads from our sponsors.

30:57 I refuse to invite my mother's husband to my wedding. Now she's boycotting it.

31:03 Ah, who cares?

31:04 I'm 28 female and I'm getting married in late November. I'm really excited and already started planning and saving. Recently, I've fallen into some drama about it. My mom got a divorce from my dad when I was 19. I was already out of the house and in college and never really knew what that whole situation was like. From what my younger sister said, it wasn't pretty. And my mom and dad aren't on speaking terms. However, during college, I met the absolute love of my life.

31:31 He's the best.

31:32 Man I could have ever met and the reason I truly believe in love. Straight out of college, we moved in together. So I never really went back home. However, my mom remarried just over a year ago. And I now have a stepdad. But I would never really call him that. He's never been a dad to me. And even during holidays, I don't really go back home. I see my dad... Then go hang out.

31:51 With my soon-to-be husband's family.

31:53 I've had a few conversations with him, but he's nothing more than an acquaintance to me.

31:57 By the way, this.

31:59 Comes from Jaded Weekend. 7819, if you want to spend your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.

32:04 I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.

32:06 I'm Keon.

32:06 We're here to give some good advice goofily, but we don't have all your answers. So you're going to tell us what you do, and we're going to tell you what we would do. right now for my wedding it's gonna be huge we have about 300 people already confirmed and rsvp'd to my wedding and it's being held at my fiance's family's ranch.

32:23 Ah they got money i was like where are you getting all that money family ranch.

32:27 I've invited a lot of my family his and friends and then when it came down to my parents i got iffy i know that i'm inviting my dad Heck, he's walking me down the aisle. But I know that having my mom there is also just as important. However, I just don't see the value in having my stepdad there.

32:44 For real?

32:45 That's the big problem?

32:46 For real?

32:47 You don't have to invite anyone at your wedding, but you would be a little bit the a-hole if you invited 300 people and you didn't give your mother a plus one. That's kind of diabolical.

32:58 Have we heard anything bad about the stepdad? She just doesn't have a relationship with him. And that's like, okay, you're an adult. Makes sense.

33:04 If it were a small wedding, I'd be like, yeah, don't invite him. You don't have a relationship with him. 300 people. And you're not going to invite. Not even from the standpoint of stepdad. You don't have a relationship. Just from the standpoint of give your mom a plus one.

33:19 We already have so many people and nobody is really allowed.

33:22 A plus one unless approved. So I don't get why I'd have to make an exception for him.

33:26 What did he do?

33:26 He's your mom's stepdad.

33:27 Husband!

33:28 I know!

33:28 What did he do?

33:29 Why do you hate this guy? I don't think he did anything!

33:31 Exactly!

33:31 He didn't!

33:32 Unless he wronged you? Unless he, like, punted your puppy? Invite him!

33:37 Anyways, when my mom received her invitation and saw that her husband didn't get one, and I specifically... Said no plus ones. She messaged me and we.

33:44 Began to fight.

33:45 She keeps saying I'm an a-hole for not letting her husband come to my wedding and that having him there is important to him. Which he doesn't even effing know me.

33:53 Sorry for cursing.

33:54 Just genuinely upset. Why does this practically random man care if he goes to my wedding or not? Then she brought up how my dad and his new wife get to come.

34:03 Stop it.

34:04 That's crazy.

34:05 Stop it. Criminal.

34:07 Criminal.

34:07 Crazy, Opie.

34:08 So you're about.

34:09 To invite the bio dad and step mom, but only invite bio mom and not step dad?

34:17 Criminal.

34:18 I get it.

34:18 It's the your wedding, your rules, but this is out of pocket.

34:22 And I don't even know how she got that info, and that to me is a whole different issue. Regardless, my mom got really mad and called me a lot of names, and we kind of had a falling out. The last thing she said was that if her husband, my step dad, couldn't come, then she wouldn't either. It's upsetting because I do want my mom there. I just could really care less about her husband, and I guess I'm paranoid if things happen when my mom and dad see each other again. I don't know when the last time they saw each other was.

34:51 Ugh.

34:51 Anyways, this is long. Just Am I the a-hole for not inviting my mom's husband?

34:55 The verdict is a-hole. Update.

34:59 When I originally posted this, I assumed I'd get maybe three little comments.

35:03 Holy crap, was I wrong.

35:04 But that's okay. I've really read through every single one. And even though it's hard to take criticism, it's well needed and I know has good intent. My mom and I had a great brunch earlier today and we really talked. I laid out everything on the table about how I felt and why I felt that my mom's husband wasn't a necessity at my wedding. It was a hard conversation I won't get too much into. Um, I really would like to know why you're not getting into this. Like she's leaving this man a mystery on purpose.

35:32 We don't know anything about this man.

35:33 Why does dad get to bring his plus one? Or why does dad get a plus one?

35:37 I'm imagining that OP has maybe met this wife more. And so she's like, well, I know her. But unfortunately, I think it is still super unfair in mom's eyes to see her ex-husband, who she can't even talk to, getting to bring his wife and she doesn't get to bring.

35:54 The overall consensus of the conversation was about how my mom's husband entered my life and how we just simply don't know each other. And believe me, I heard a lot about that in the comments and I get it. I'm to blame for it. However, my mom also apologized. Neither of us really makes an effort to see each other, so no crap, I didn't know her husband. Anyways, I'm currently making another invitation I plan to personally give my mom's husband. I understand how much I probably also hurt him in this whole situation, and I really want to thank you guys for dragging me, because truly, it was the only way to get it through my thick skull.

36:29 Bless all of you.

36:30 I like it.

36:31 There we go. I'm glad the comments knocked some sense into her.

36:34 Yeah.

36:35 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

36:38 My father demanded my fiance asked for my hand because of tradition. Well, I don't see the problem with that.

36:44 I feel like everyone does that.

36:46 So my fiance, 24 male, and I, 24 female, have been together around three and a half years and recently got engaged. It wasn't surprising to anyone whatsoever. My fiance and I have been discussing getting married almost our whole relationship, and me and my family members have actively been discussing...

37:03 loose wedding planning for almost a year now. We also have been living together for almost two and a half years. My fiance first asked me if I wanted him to ask my dad for permission about a year ago which initially I said yes to. I had been discussing wedding ideas with my dad and he had brought up in a light-hearted way that he wanted to be asked permission which I responded to with don't worry I already told him he has to ask you. Once we got closer to the proposal my fiance asked me what I thought would be the best way to approach my dad. Considering they aren't particularly close no bad blood, my dad's just a bit awkward to interact with. And we don't live in the same city, so it likely had to be

37:38 a call or a text. I thought it over and realized that tradition, in retrospect, seemed a bit... to me and overly traditional and probably wasn't necessary. So I told my fiance to not worry about it. By the way, this comes from prestigious Newt3272. And if you want to spit your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.

37:59 I'm Savannah.

38:00 I'm Keon.

38:01 And we're here to give good advice goofily. And if you have advice, put it down below. I thought in retrospect, considering I was raised primarily by my mom. My parents separated when I was young, that if anyone should be getting asked, I felt like it should be her. My mom also doesn't really believe in the asking permission thing, though, so my fiance didn't ask her either. She was aware the proposal was happening, though, and was very excited for us.

38:24 When I texted my family excitedly to announce the proposal, everyone was happy but my dad. He immediately started lecturing me about traditional values and us being a traditional family. He told me he felt I and my fiancé were extremely disrespectful for not asking permission and not respecting my family's role in my life. When I called him to try and explain that I genuinely didn't think it was necessary, he refused to speak to me and simply put me on the phone with my little half-brother, 11 male, while making comments in the background about... Who knows that she'll even invite us to the wedding.

38:57 Yeah, no, that's rude. I think it's rude. She shouldn't have just said that, like, because what was the point?

39:02 Why even tell him?

39:03 Yeah.

39:04 Why even say, oh, yeah, like, whatever. Or you could have just been like, actually, I don't really think it's necessary.

39:09 Exactly. I do, however, think dad is reacting a little bit. But I also think you do owe him an apology.

39:16 Yeah. I mean, I don't think he's overreacting. I think that I would be disappointed, too. I'd be like, wait, I thought we were now we're not.

39:23 Specifically coming from the standpoint of him saying, well, like, this is our family, traditional values and life. like that that being his reasoning rather than just saying hey I'm a little disrespect because you told me you would do it if he was coming from that only I'd be like yeah absolutely I think that is a little overreaction, but I still think OP owes an apology.

39:43 I think that because my family is very big into family traditions and values and everything. And like, we've just grown up very culturally aware of where we came from and stuff. And so I just think that, I mean, my dad wouldn't be like offended if, you know what?

39:58 I don't think so.

39:59 But I also never had that talk with him.

40:01 You know what?

40:01 I'm going to ask him this weekend.

40:02 Ask him.

40:04 But there's a little bit left. This may have been the part where I overreacted instead of apologizing. I told him over text, obviously not in front of my younger brother, that calling our family traditional was a joke. My dad had an affair, one of multiple actually, with a woman overseas when he was with my mom and then brought her to America, leaving my mom to basically raise me on her own. I would only really see him on holidays until high school, where I'd then see him after school maybe once or twice a week. It felt like an insane double standard to now claim traditionalism. It's now been a month and I refuse to apologize and the fight continues. I asked my friend her opinion and she said her parents would have been upset too if they

40:41 hadn't been asked for permission before an engagement, which makes me think maybe I wasn't thoughtful enough to his feelings about the situation. I don't know. Am I overreacting? I think he sucks. He's a bit hypocritical. His focus is the traditionalism. I think she sucks because she said she was going to ask him. She lied.

40:57 The fiance was going to ask him.

40:58 And she literally went back on a word for what?

41:01 And didn't tell him. Like no reason. And wasn't like, hey dad, I've thought about it. It doesn't really align with my.

41:07 Yeah.

41:07 You know, feelings, you know. Like, just didn't say anything and was like, oh, guys, guess what?

41:11 Yeah.

41:12 He's like, wait, you told me, you told me, but I think that is a little a-holy. So I think everyone sucks here.

41:19 I will agree with the verdict.

41:21 Would you guys, well, actually, I'll ask two questions. If you are married, did your partner ask your parents? And if you aren't married, do you want or will you?

41:32 Yeah.

41:33 Will you marry us?

41:35 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

41:37 My in-laws drive seven hours for free babysitting, so I finally spoke up.

41:43 Who's babysitting who?

41:44 My brother-in-law and his girlfriend have three young children. They have a nanny during the week, but frequently rely on my in-laws, who live three and a half hours away for childcare. Her own parents live only an hour away, but are not asked for help nearly as often because she says they get overwhelmed by the kids. My in-laws have privately told my husband and me that they have felt disrespected by some of the asks and obligated to help because they're worried she'll make their son's life difficult if they leave them to fend for themselves. Some examples include asking my stepfather-in-law to make a separate seven-hour round trip the night before their kid's birthday party and my mother-in-law to make another seven-hour round trip the next morning

42:28 because they weren't both available at the same time. They've also been asked to drive down to babysit for date nights and stay the entire weekend or have driven there only to find they weren't really needed.

42:40 Oh, the second that I find out that I've driven for absolutely nothing, I'm never coming back.

42:45 We have asked them to address it directly, but they want to avoid confrontation. She also asked my brother-in-law to convince his bio dad to move to their city to be closer to his grandkids. And she said he doesn't like to ask. So she asked me and my husband to ask. Their dad said he would move to our state on his own time to be close to us, but wanted to live in a city of his choice and didn't want to relocate to their city just to be a free babysitter. But I didn't tell her that.

43:13 By the way, this comes from SubstantialJello408, and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. Um, Savannah.

43:20 Hi!

43:21 I'm Sophia.

43:21 I'm Keon.

43:22 And we're here to talk about some stuff, get some advice, and we're going to tell you what we say, and you're going to tell us what you would do in the comments. Last Christmas, while seven months pregnant, she asked the entire family to travel to their house instead of my in-law's home, where Christmas has always been hosted. because she said she couldn't sit through a three and a half hour drive with her pregnancy, which would have required everyone else to pay for hotels or Airbnbs.

43:46 So she's just entitled.

43:47 Come on.

43:48 So she's truly just entitled.

43:50 Like, yes, she is pregnant. And I get that, but they've been driving seven hours for you multiple times, many, many times.

44:00 She's the type of person like, I don't feel like going, so everyone come over here for your birthday.

44:03 Yeah.

44:04 My in-laws were not happy about that, and we just hosted at their house as usual. A month ago, I asked whether they'd consider backup childcare for date nights, and she became defensive. saying they already had plenty of help between their nanny, her parents, and my in-laws. Most recently, they were on a four-day trip for a wedding, but asked my in-laws to drive seven hours to pick up the kids, watch them for ten days. Then drive another seven hours to bring them home. I simply suggested they consider sharing the driving or meeting halfway in the future because it seemed like a lot to ask. She responded with a long message of excuses saying they had an early flight and she is always respectful of my in-laws

44:43 and that I hurt her feelings by implying she was disrespectful and that if my in-laws had a real problem, they would have told her because she's close with my mother-in-law.

44:53 Oh, and that's when you go, hey mom, you gotta tell her.

44:56 You go, womp womp.

44:57 You gotta tell her.

44:58 You go, womp womp.

44:59 Sad story.

44:59 Yes, sister-in-law is absolutely being disrespectful of their time and should just know that that's not okay. But to an extent, she's right. The mom does need to step up and say, hey, I'm not comfortable doing this.

45:12 I'm surprised by how defensive she became because my suggestion felt very mild compared with what my in-laws have told us privately. and it wasn't a direct confrontation. Am I the a-hole for suggesting they share the driving or asking whether they'd considered using a babysitter for date nights? She ended up calling my mother-in-law and talking to her about it and then calling me and being condescending. and offensive.

45:36 I thought our intentions were to clear the air, but she just wanted to defend herself and say I don't understand what it's like or that I don't have all the details.

45:44 It's not my business. No, I don't have all the details because I'm not in this.

45:48 In my opinion, it really doesn't matter what I know or think because the fact is that the people who are directly involved feel disrespected. There's a little bit left here. Then I talked to my mother-in-law who said she appreciated us looking out for them and she did tell her that she was overwhelmed when she was there three weekends in a row on top of work, and she had brought up the example where my father-in-law drove seven hours round trip to be there for 30 minutes, and my mother-in-law was joking with me that she told my brother-in-law's girlfriend that they think they live around the corner and have no life. Overall, they are on good terms, and they don't hate her, but they think she is demanding.

46:28 I have lost a lot of respect for my brother-in-law's girlfriend because it seems like she has no capability of handling the fact that she is perceived negatively, and all she wants to do is defend herself and weirdly try to rub it in my face how close she is with my mother-in-law, and say that my mother-in-law would tell her everything. I guess family events are going to be a little awkward now.

46:48 Oh, no, oh, no.

46:50 The funniest thing is, I'd be like, hey, sister-in-law, would you do any of this? Yeah, well, she clearly wouldn't. Yeah, yeah. She wouldn't even drive down for holidays.

46:59 Yeah.

47:00 Yeah.

47:01 And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

47:04 My mother-in-law says she deserves something special at my wedding.

47:09 Well, it's my wedding, so no.

47:11 Wedding planning is hard, and I'm about to body slam my mother-in-law. My fiance and I specifically asked on our invitations. For people not to wear white or green. As he is wearing a green suit. And wants to stand out fair and cute. And I have a fear of his self-absorbed mother. Trying to wear white. Since before we got engaged.

47:35 Fast forward two months ago. My mother-in-law showing us dresses. She wants to wear on her phone. And asked my fiancee. if she can wear green to match him. I let him decide if he was comfortable with it, even though it's kind of weird that she asked despite us being very clear about that. He begrudgingly agreed.

47:54 Oh, lame.

47:57 Test one failed.

47:59 Dude.

48:00 There's this whole like trope of guys disagreeing with their mothers during this wedding period. And he failed the first test. Then he got up to use the bathroom and she decided she had another dress to show me. It's like champagne, she said as she looked it up. And I just knew. And sure enough, she turned the phone around and it was white. She literally said it's like an off white.

48:26 Like girl off. My dress is off-white, thank you very much. I told her the green dress you showed us was lovely. And ended that conversation, because that's what you have to do with people like that. I think she wanted me to react, but alas, I don't give my energy to that. At least public-facing, lol. By the way, this comes from LopsidedEar89, and if you want to see my old stories, you know where to go. I'm Riley.

48:52 I'm Savannah.

48:52 I'm Keon.

48:53 And we're going to read this story goofily. The everything you'd like to add, please add it down below. I had to break it to my fiance because he promised his mother wasn't that bad to do something like that. And I felt hurt by it. Thankfully, he believed me despite having no proof because she waited for him to leave the conversation and has been very supportive and protective since.

49:15 Two weeks later, she texted saying she got a dress and refused to send a pic for a week when I asked before sending a pic of the green one. When my fiance re-asked for me, I was relieved and moved on. However, last week we were at his parents for dinner and she wanted to show me her new dresses she got for the wedding because she wasn't really sure the green one after all thankfully my fiance heard this and follow us upstairs where he caught her pulling out another white dress that she had actually bought this time we both kind of froze and then left pretty quickly but not before she said i'm the mother of the groom and just want to wear something special to his wedding i mean Your guys' wedding, Ella Mayo.

50:06 My fist is clenched like Arthur.

50:08 The next day, she texted me to ask what my mom was wearing. And when I told her, she said, I hope the dress I showed you yesterday isn't too casual.

50:17 She's got another? She's got a third option?

50:19 How much money does this woman have?

50:21 I don't know.

50:22 And all for, like, this wedding that isn't even yours.

50:24 It's her son's wedding. She's the mother of the groom, mind you.

50:27 Okay, my mom wore one dress. And she got fake bangs for it.

50:33 I just liked the message. And two days later, my fiance texted her saying her idea to match was great and that he wants her to wear the green dress so they can look like a family in the photos. Got to stroke the ego to remind her that we already made an exception for her. I swear, though, that she's going to go out again and find a white dress with some green on it. And to be honest, I'm going to ask the photographer again. to not take pics of her except for one because that's hilarious to wear the two colors we specifically asked people not to wear.

51:08 What is she on, dog?

51:09 I'd be like, do you think that you get special treatment?

51:12 Guys, mother of the groom. Better than everyone else.

51:15 That's what my mom was, but she never tried to take the spotlight. She was there to support him. She wasn't there to steal the spotlight.

51:22 I did say she was self-absorbed.

51:24 Yeah, my mom isn't that.

51:26 Our photographer is cool enough, and I really want an annual reminder of it, because she's one of those Facebook boomer moms that sends and resends memories every year. And to see a pic of my husband with his mom in a white dress, lol. I'm also tempted to buy one of the white dresses she got and do a fit change halfway through the reception, but I don't know if I'm that petty enough for that.

51:48 See, the bride is allowed to make a costume change.

51:51 Er, sorry, dress change.

51:52 I think it was the same for my sister on her birthday, her 21st birthday. She had all of her friends come to my house. It was during... the vid and she had an outfit change throughout. And then her other friend had an outfit change. And I was like, excuse you, why are you changing? And like my sister changed into like, like she was like in like a dress, but then she changed into something more comfy. This girl was in something comfy and then changed into a dress after it's like, what? All of her friends are jealous of her though.

52:17 So that's weird. And that's the end of this story. We're going to read the next one.

52:21 My sister secretly planned our dream Europe trip without me.

52:25 That's so sad.

52:26 My sister, Alice, 33 female, my mom, and I, Melissa, 36 female, have been talking about going to Europe together for years. This year, my mom is turning 60, and my sister and I had talked about doing a big trip, but our schedules wouldn't line up for something major this year. So we agreed we would do the big trip next year and plan something smaller for her actual birthday in November.

52:50 Alice told me over a month ago she couldn't do November, but September was open and she wanted to go to Spain. I told her I couldn't do September. I have a major project going on at work, and even November was going to be a stretch for me. Next year was always going to be the big trip anyway. First week of June, I texted her to confirm I couldn't do September.

53:08 My mom had told us we had to sort the timing out between the two of us. Alice just said, Hate that.

53:13 That was the entire conversation.

53:15 So I assumed we were back to the original plan, the three of us, whenever it worked. By the way, this comes from Calm Comparison 6525. And if you want to spend your own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.

53:27 I'm Riley.

53:28 I'm Keon.

53:28 And we're here to give some advice. We don't know everything. So tell us what you would do. And we're going to tell us what we do right now. Fast forward to last night when Alice called my mom. My mom was hesitant to pick up, but did it in front of me anyway. Alice said, I'm buying the tickets today.

53:42 I asked what it was for and she replied, Spain. I said, I can't go. And she said, what's that got to do with anything? Turns out she and my mom were still planning on going to Spain in September, just the two of them, and no one told me. I got angry and left the room. When I came back, I asked why they had planned it without me. Alice told me it was her idea and I could take mom on a different trip next year. We went back and forth and my mom finally got up and left us to fight. Alice told me I was crazy, that this had nothing to do with me and I was being selfish for being upset at all. I told her the plan was always for the both of us to take mom to Europe and now they would get that experience without me. She called me insane again. I told

54:22 them to have a great time.

54:23 Stop, she's calling you insane?

54:25 Yeah, what?

54:26 I mean, I feel like anyone in this situation would be mad, because all three of you were supposed to go, and now you just decided, oh, well, none of the dates work for you, so we're just gonna figure it out. Later over text, I told her that I am allowed to have my feelings hurt. Not once did she acknowledge that her actions may have been handled badly. You're taking this away from mom. She said because mom wouldn't go if I was upset. I told them both to go multiple times. To be clear, I'd never actually get in the way of my mother taking a trip. My whole point was never cancel the trip. It was that being completely left out of a plan, we'd all talked about four years, finding out by accident because my mom happened

55:04 to answer the phone in front of me And then being called insane and selfish for having any feelings about it. Felt like BS. I wasn't asking to control anything. I was asking to be treated like my feelings were valid.

55:15 Am I the a-hole?

55:16 No.

55:17 No, you're allowed to have your feelings. It sucks.

55:19 I'd be beyond pissed. I'd probably just not speak to them in Milwaukee and says.

55:23 My family does this every year or like every other year. They're like, want to go on a trip with us? I go, no. Thanks for asking though.

55:28 I just don't like how they just like didn't even consider her. Like they did at first and I was like, oh, she's never going to find time to go. So let's just go without her.

55:36 She won't be mad.

55:36 Yeah, you guys made plans. I think something that is annoying, though, is whenever people cancel plans or say they can't do it. They do not suggest other dates.

55:45 Yeah.

55:46 I have, I'm going to get on a soapbox in a little bit, you know, right now. I have had two separate people reach out to me. They're not a part of this organization. They are friends outside of this. And they have said, hey, let's hang out soon. And I say, let's hang out this day. That day comes around.

55:58 I double check with them. Hey, can you make it? And they go, no, can't. Why did you call me in the first place saying you wanted to hang out with me and then not even suggest another time?

56:06 I was actually there for that conversation because it does discourage you. Like, it's like my sister does that sometimes too. But the thing is, we don't actually like make plans. We'll just like, I'll just ask her if she wants to like come over. She's like, I'm not doing any later.

56:18 What are you doing?

56:19 Yeah.

56:19 So I think OP, what you could have done is like, oh, November doesn't work. Sometime next year. How about February?

56:25 There's an edit here. Just to be clear, the original plan was for the three of us to go to Europe next year. We were planning on doing a smaller trip in November this year for my mom's birthday. My sister couldn't do a November trip so no plans were made because all three of us couldn't go. My issue was that instead of finding a time that worked for all three of us, my sister made the decision to plan a trip when I couldn't go. and to the place we were all planning on doing next year. Instead of communicating that plan with me, I happened to find out by chance. In no way would I ever expect them not to go because I couldn't make it. I want my mom to go and have an incredible experience.

57:04 And I thought that experience was going to be all three of us together. My original ask was, am I the a-hole for being upset because they excluded me from the trip with zero communication?

57:15 No, you're not the a-hole.

57:16 Your feelings are validated.

57:17 Yeah. They did it behind your back. And then they have the nerve manipulate you and call you crazy and be like, why are you acting like this?

57:25 You're acting insane.

57:26 Yeah.

57:27 Like, put yourself in my shoes. You would be doing the same thing. Like, come on.

57:30 But that's the end of that story.

57:32 Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

57:40 My best friend dropped out of my wedding, citing a rivalry I never knew about.

57:46 A secret rivalry.

57:49 Diane, 28 female, and I, 25 female, had been friends for five years, and I thought of her to be one of my closest friends. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding last year, and she was supposed to be one in mine this year. Things seemed normal. We worked at the same company and had lunch most days. She went dress shopping with me and got her bridesmaid dress for the wedding. We got our nails done together regularly.

58:14 Her husband was super excited for our wedding, etc. Nothing really felt out of the ordinary to me. Then in February, she told me she couldn't be a bridesmaid anymore. I initially thought it was time slash money thing, but then she said it was because she didn't feel like our friendship was in a good place. and that our lives are going to be in different directions, and there was too much rivalry between us.

58:39 The rivalry you didn't know you had.

58:41 I do have an ongoing rivalry with the comic.

58:43 And they don't know about it? It's more like, you know, internal motivation.

58:48 Honestly didn't know what she was talking about. I asked her what this meant. We were still friends. Was she coming to the wedding as a guest? By the way, this comes from MeMowCattyCat21. And if you want to send me your own stories, go to r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Riley.

59:03 I'm Dakota.

59:04 And we're going to read the story goofily with our remarks on our knowledge. And if you have anything you'd like to add, please add it to the story. it down below. She said she didn't know, but still wanted to have lunch once in a while. Told her I couldn't do that. It felt too much like trying to stay friends with an ex. If she felt so strongly about us, then I'd rather not have half-butted friends like that.

59:24 So I deleted her number, threw out the trinkets from her wedding, and such.

59:29 The rivalry is heating up.

59:31 So there kind of was something there, huh?

59:33 I mean, there is now. If there was an unspoken thing, it's been spoken very loudly.

59:38 I would have had lunch with this person.

59:40 Or coffee.

59:41 Hey, let's talk this over a cup of joe, huh?

59:44 And you just go, oh, no, actually, I'm completely cutting all evidence of your existence out of my life now. Oh, if you're going to take it. Oh, we have a rivalry.

59:52 Great.

59:53 Thanks for letting me know.

59:54 It honestly felt like a romantic breakup, but I got over it. Today, out of nowhere, she texted me a screenshot of Facebook of a pic of my cat with the toy she bought her since she was tagged four years ago. It was one of those Facebook remember this things and this text. I know you still don't want anything to do with me, but that's cool. This came up on my Facebook news feed and I thought I would send it along. I almost forgot how little she was when you first got her. Happy anniversary with her because I know it was last week. I feel like she makes it sound like I ended our friendship for no apparent reason. I'm not sure how to feel about this and just haven't replied. I probably won't. But I

1:00:33 was just feeling confused and maybe just needed to vent. What do you think? We got some relevant comments. I mean, Opie kind of did it in the relationship when she threw the trinkets out.

1:00:43 Yeah, you did. You did definitely. I mean, it didn't start with you doing that. And then she was like, what? I mean, she did say that thing. And you went, excuse me?

1:00:53 What?

1:00:53 Which is weird for her to say that as well, your friend. That was a weird thing. You're like, yeah, I don't know if I should be there because of, you know, how competitive and because of our rivalry.

1:01:04 I just don't understand why there was no resistance to keeping the friendship. That's baffling me.

1:01:10 Yeah, just it was an immediate like, okay, and everything of yours is in the incinerator.

1:01:16 Relevant comments. Kat Kolo says, don't get sucked back in. Opie says, I don't plan on it. I summarized it here, but there was a whole week of her going back and forth on being a bridesmaid and being friends. I'd even pulled teeth to get the explanation that it did. It was such a terrible experience that I'm never going back to it. Love Bamboo says, you have every right not to respond. While it's purely speculation, it sounds like your ex-friend might not be there at all. Opie says, I've talked to a few people about it. A friend, my fiance, and my hairdresser, lol. And they basically said the same thing. I think it's best to just ignore the text. Update eight days later.

1:01:55 Look, be friends, don't be friends. But you definitely decided to not be friends. That was your decision.

1:02:03 Yeah.

1:02:04 Where did this whole rivalry thing come from? Can we get an explanation of that? I'd like to see that.

1:02:08 I feel like there's no way there's not some truth to it just based on how you reacted.

1:02:14 Threw away the trinkets immediately. That's what's getting me. I want to talk to the friend, though. I want to see her side of the story.

1:02:22 Yeah. What's going on?

1:02:25 Was OP, I don't know, undermining you, friend? Dana, Dana, what was going on here?

1:02:29 Did she think there's a rivalry because you were giving rivalry energy? I don't know. All this is weird.

1:02:37 Hopefully we get our answers update eight days later. Hello there. It's been a week and I have some updates. So I figured I'd close the loop for anyone that was interested. I honestly don't think we're going to get the answers we want.

1:02:49 There are no loops being closed here. That's my prediction.

1:02:52 First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who commented and helped me and got some sense talked into me. There's a wake up call, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just thought I did something wrong or it was a mystery. But as most people concluded for me, Diane was having issues of her own and took it out on me.

1:03:08 Oh, OK.

1:03:10 So shocker, I didn't text her back. I just ignored it. I did get some insight today, though. If any of you are curious, keep reading. So Diane and I have, I guess should say, had one mutual friend left. Her name, Sydney, 30 female. So a little background, Diane and I used to work in the same department when we started working at this company years ago and became friends. Diane would eventually leave the department because she said she wanted to grow, but constantly still tried to butt in and tell me what to do. Last year, Sydney joined that department as I was leaving, so three of us became friends. Sydney still is in that old department now. So since the whole new ending of our friendship in February, I've told

1:03:54 Sydney I'm totally cool with her being friends with Diane and also stayed totally neutral whenever Diane came up. But today, Sydney exploded to me over lunch about Diane and it all came out. Dakota, we might be getting our loops closed.

1:04:10 We've got our explosion. We're loading up an explosion.

1:04:13 I am so glad Sydney is a part of your life.

1:04:16 Yes. Explode all of this all over us.

1:04:20 Pause. Apparently, Diane has definitely been feeling very insecure about her life versus mine and has been going for a promotion after promotion whenever a job opened at the company and has been rejected every time, so when I got mine, it was too much for her.

1:04:37 Something about a work promotion? Y'all even work at the same place, do you? What's going... Come on, Diane.

1:04:44 She also apparently has been really upset about her weight. She's a size 16... When I started losing weight for my wedding, I was a size 6 when I got engaged and now a size 2. She was also upset.

1:04:56 Well, comparison is the thief of joy.

1:04:59 She's also upset that I bought a bigger house and a new car paid in full this year. So why did Sydney tell me all this? Apparently, Diane has been butting into Sydney's work and also been criticizing everything Sydney does. Her diet, her dating life, her dog, and Sydney... finally had enough and cut Diane out and wanted to vent all of this to me since she knew Diane and I also stopped being friends. And we got some more left here. We got some final comments. So Diane saw the competition, but OP was just living her best life.

1:05:29 Yeah, OP's just up. OP's up and Diane couldn't handle it. And then OP immediately said, okay, light it on fire.

1:05:38 Yeah, this is giving me all the context I need to know about this friendship. Everyone's on their own journey. So if you go for a work promotion and you get rejected, there's probably something with your people skills that they're not wanting you to be in a management position. That's my thought.

1:05:55 It could be.

1:05:56 It's not that you don't have the skills. It's that the way you interact with people probably isn't the best.

1:06:00 It just depends on the work, I guess, you know?

1:06:04 Well, if it's a promotion, she's definitely going to be the head of people. That's usually how promotions work. It's not like going from one machine to another. It's probably like managing people. And from how she's criticized you to Sydney... You know what, Diane?

1:06:15 Get forklift certified. That's never hurt.

1:06:18 Final comments. When OP was asked if she is the competitive one and doesn't realize it when telling her friends about accomplishments, she says, I stated all these facts because I'm explaining a situation to strangers on the internet, so I'm trying to be as descriptive as possible. But I obviously never mentioned this to her in that way. You're a size 16 and I'm a size 2. I obviously did tell her about these things that were happening because she was my close friend. Tell your friends when you get a new job or get a new house. I never said, hey, Diane, I got a new house that's bigger than yours. But in this post, I had to describe it to you strangers and the situation it is because Diane and I, we both already know the sizes

1:06:57 of our houses, if that makes sense. So things sound more competitive on here than they were in our real life relationship. In real life, it was more like, OMG, husband and I are about to close on a house. That's the end of that story. Thank you for mansplaining that last part to us. I didn't get it.

1:07:13 Yeah, just OP explaining, like, I don't constantly talk to Diane. Like, how is your small house compared to my big house?

1:07:22 I got a newer husband than yours. Mine's more new.

1:07:25 Mine's newer and better. I also am still making more money than you, right? Oh my gosh, I can see your waist from a mile away. Mine's invisible. Look how big you are. Just checking in. Still, still bigger than me, huh? Oh my gosh.

1:07:40 You're like BX the plug.

1:07:41 The biggest.

1:07:42 The largest.

1:07:44 And that's the end of this story.